Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Julie's Journal

Merry Christmas to everyone!  In the last post, we were talking about the concept that where light is, there simply can be no darkness.  In other words .  .  .  light dispels darkness.    As we have talked about in group many times, this universal  truth states that darkness and light cannot exist in the same space, at the same time.  Another universal biblical truth that does not change and we know that we CAN count on is  .   .   .  truth dispels lies.   Recently someone asked me about emotions, and why I think our lives should be ruled by feelings.  I quickly responded that I absolutely do not believe that we should live being ruled by feelings, but that we also cannot live as if we have no emotions at all!  There is a serious flaw to living a life ruled by feelings.  What if I felt shameful most of the time.  Could you imagine what my behavior would look like if I were fueled by shame?? Yikes!  What if I were afraid most of the time?  Can you picture decisions motivated by fear?  What if I were fueled by pure pride.  Those behaviors might be the scariest of all!  Ha!! 

But as most of us know, and most of us have experienced personally, there is just as serious a flaw to living one's life without emotions, by trying to numb them or stuff them completely.  As most of us know by now, it simply does not work!  It does not give us the life we desire.  More importantly, it does not relieve the pain we are running from.   There is a way to walk in both truth and light!  As we begin to "feel" again, we must be willing to make sure our backdrop is truth.  It would be very difficult for me to walk in shame if I believe the truth that "there is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus".  It would be very  hard for me to behave as a  woman frozen by fear if I truly believe that "God is always with me".  It would be difficult for me to completely ignore my physical needs of nutrition and fitness if I believe that I am "worthy" and "indwelled by the Holy Spirit just because He created me.  Do you see how the backdrop of Truth can begin to dispel the lies we may operate under?  There are so many examples I could use.  Can you think of some examples in your own life?  The other thing that is important to remember is that you must decide or choose what  "Truth" is for your own life.  Once you begin to clarify YOUR truth in your own life, you can begin to root out the lies that are motivating unhealthy behaviors! Clarifying one's own truth is a lifelong process that can be constantly evolving. 

Lasting lifestyle change, is a journey worth investing the time and effort it takes to walk in health and wellness, of spirit, mind, body and emotions!!  As we look to the New Year, and all of the possibilities that it holds, let's be willing to look for Truth and Light, wherever it may be found, knowing that there will be some difficult encounters with Darkness and Lies.  You will have support as you traverse this terrain.  God bless each and every one of you, and may some Truth be revealed to you as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, Who embodies Truth to the fullest!

Friday, December 11, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

As I have been driving around the city, I have noticed that their are still some folks left who put up Christmas lights all over their front doors, shutters, trees and bushes.  I began to think about how the homes with lights were illuminated and stood out brightly above the other homes on the block without the lights, especially at night.  The same way the star over the manger in Bethlehem shone brighter than all the others because it was meant to illuminate the site of the Lord's birth.  During this season, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, Who is the light of the world.  Those of us who are belivers in Christ are also called to carry out that mission and be a light on a hill, salt and light in a dark world.  I was thinking about how this really does relate to our journey of lifestyle change.  When we truly began to walk out our journey with consistency and perseverence, others begin to notice.  We become hope to others who have not quite begun the journey yet.  We inspire others to take a chance and begin their journey of lifestyle change.  We are the light to those who still feel like they are in a dark place and need hope on this journey.  It's amazing how it works that way. 

During this season, if you need some light to illuminate your path on lifestyle change, then look to those who have had some success at it.  If you have had some sucess at it, then shine brightly and lock arms with another who may just be beginning their journey.  Happy Holidays ladies! 

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A little reminder

For anyone interested in coming to the H.O.P.E. Christmas Open House, please contact me directly for more information.  It is going to be a wonderful evening of fun, fellowship and food, drop-in style.  So for anyone who has conflicts, maybe you can come to this gathering before you are off to another one.  That leads me to something I think about often.  That wonderful "all or nothing" mentality that invades our thinking so often.  During the Holiday season, it seems to really fight for front and center head time.  I went to gathering this past weekend, and all I could think of was I'm going to eat some of everything they had available and a bunch of it..  And when I wasn't thinking that, I was thinking I won't have anything, not a taste of anything.  Good grief!  Why can't I default to the middle ground or the leaning into balance place?  What is it that sends me to the edges of all or nothing?  I truly forgot sometimes that I have control of my thoughts, and I can choose to focus on unhealthy things, or I can choose to think about the middle ground, and then walk in it!  It still amazes me how often I just assume that I have no choice or that I am just a poor little victim of my thoughts.  So the good news is that I am not a victim of my thoughts, nor am I left with no choice in the matter.  That is scriptural, that is truth!  I can choose not to think about the all or nothing choices, but to intentionally walk to the middle ground and then ponder the choices available in that area.  I can even take one step furthur and let my behavior reflect it! 


As you go through this Holiday season, remember that when you hear yourself say "I can't wait to eat everything they have at that party and a lot of it because it's a holiday" or "I can't eat anything because I'm on a diet" that the language indicates that you are treading out on the edge of all or nothing thinking. Stop, and walk away from the edge! There ARE other choices.  "Leaning into balance" is the total antithesis of the dreaded  "all or nothing" thinking!  Polar opposites!   What are the messages you hear that are sure indications that you are in the "all or nothing" place?  What are the red flags that you need to listen to over the coming Holiday weeks. . . and after? 


There will be no individual interview this week.  Enjoy your week! 

Friday, November 20, 2009

Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Well it's that time of year again when most of us make endless plans for travel, eat massive amounts of food and spend countless hours with family and friends.  Yep, it's Thanksgiving Holiday!!  I want to take a minute and talk about the word gratitude.  The dictionary states that "gratitude" is: a feeling or state of being thankful.

One of the most incredible life truths I stumbled upon was when I was 24 years old.  I had just been through a very emotionally and physically difficult surgery for cancer in which about a foot of my left calf was removed, all the lymph nodes from my groin area, about a foot of my left hip was removed and about a 6 inch chunk out of my right shoulder was also removed.  My chance survival 5 years from the surgery date was pretty dismal.  I had to go to Duke Hospital in Durham for the type of cancer treatment I needed because the Charlotte hospitals did not offer such treatment at the time.  I was in my second semester of graduate school at the time and all of this shut my life down pretty much for over 6 months.

I was told over and over and over again, "You're so lucky" (well then maybe I needed to pray to be unlucky if that was luck!) and "what a blessing that you live near Duke Hospital" (Right, three hours is close by, are you kidding?)  "Boy you're lucky they found it before it killed you!" (Uhmmm, Okay, right)  These were the kind of comments I received daily and I was resentful, annoyed and frankly, I was wishing that for one day some of the well wishers could feel how it feels to be that "lucky"!!  I got to know most of the other patients pretty well, and as I returned month after month, most of the patients I had become new friends with did not.  One by one, they succumbed to the cancer that ravaged their bodies. 

It was one of the most difficult times in my life, and week after week, month after month, I began to experience a change.  I started to understand what gratitude was.  I also began to understand what all the well wishers were saying to me.  I  truly and whole-heartedly thanked the Lord for allowing me to live through this dreadful disease that was taking most of my new friends.  In fact, I became truly grateful that the Lord had allowed me to experience cancer like I had.  I met so many awesome people who were fighting cancer, so many wonderful medical folks who were in it with me and I had probably to deepest gratitude for my family and closest friends.  I also learned that out of my experience and out of my gratitude I could serve others.  This is where I learned to my core that gratitude for my experiences, especially the difficult ones, could be used to serve others in a way that changed lives.  I became more and more grateful for my difficult life experiences because I now had a platform by which I could serve others.  How powerful that is when one truly understands that concept.  Gratitude.  It is the mechanism by which we can reclaim our lives and even our pasts, so that we can feel joy in our daily lives as we serve others.  Talk about being empowered!! Boy does this translate to our journey of lifestyle change! I found a few quotes on gratitude that we can chew on as we go into a season of Thanksgiving!  Enjoy and please take some time to remember what and who you are grateful for this season. 

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Anonymous


“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward

"O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever."  ~Psalms 107.1

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” ~Anthony Robbins

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God."  ~ Thessalonians 5.16-18

“Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy” ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God." ~ Philippians 4.6



Thursday, November 12, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Well it certainly has been a cold, rainy, windy week.  Sometimes . . . several days of rain can make me feel gray.  I am ready for some more of those brilliant blue skied days with that cool, fall weather!

I was looking over an email that a fellow group member sent me some time ago.  The naked truth and rawness of her words have stuck with me from the night she read her journal aloud in group. The topic?  "Saying no".  Yep, one of the hardest things in the world for so many of us to do is to say no when we need to say no.  I asked her a few weeks later if she would mind letting me have a copy of her thoughts in order to share on the Blog sometime.  She agreed, hoping that her insights might inspire another to be honest about where they are.  As you read this, please think about where you are on your journey of lifestyle change as related to the topic of saying no when you need to say no.

"I've done all I know how to do to please them;
to make the people I love happy.
The lie I believed was that I ever could
or even should attempt it. I'm not responsible for their happiness.

The raw truth is that giving in all the time NEVER really pleased them or satisfied them, or made them truly happy. Like a baby's pacifier, it only appeased them momentarily and silenced their cries temporarily; all the while, draining my reserves, sapping my strength and diminishing my credibility (even with myself).

Instead of causing them to love me more because they appreciate the person I am (yet another lie), they take me and my love for them for granted, seldom consider my needs or feelings. It seems impossible for me to say, "No" to them without their world coming to an end; yet, I've observed that they have no problem, hesitation or reservation whatsoever about telling me "No" when something isn't to their liking.
My intentions were noble, but what I got in return was pain and self-loathing. So, the lie I agree with when I don't say "No" and mean it is that my needs, feelings and opinions don't matter...that I don't have value. That's the biggest lie of all."

Have you come to the same conclusions as the writer or have you experienced something different?   How long has it taken you to get there?  Can you say no now, or is it still particularly difficult?  Have your Christian beliefs ever made it difficult or impossible to say no when you needed to?  Have you felt the same way she did after not saying no? 

I really look forward to your comments on this Blog.  This topic is really part of the cornerstone of lifestyle change.  Have a blessed weekend

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

OK, ladies, we are going to have a little contest in the H.O.P.E. Program with a prize and everything!  It is that time of year  when I must decide what our H.O.P.E. T-shirts will say and what color they will be.  Last year's shirts said "Find H.O.P.E. at the Harris YMCA" and they are green with white writing.  The contest will consist of this:

1.  Create a clever saying for the back of the T-shirt that uses the word H.O.P.E.
2.  Give me the shirt color and the writing color

That simple!  Whoever submits the winning t-shirt for the spring will win a prize!  Also, everyone who submits an entry will get a consolation prize.  Please submit all entries to julie.hall@ymcacharlotte.org  with the word "Contest" in the subject line.  Last day to receive entries will be November 23rd, 2009. Good luck and let's come up with an awesome T-shirt for the spring!

I have a treat for everyone this week.  The interview is on a beloved group member, who has been with us from the start.  Most of us have missed her greatly over the past several months while she has been away.  She's back. . . . . . . by interview anyway!  It's Gayle Hall, also known as Mom or the Hankie lady. This can serve as a little tease to hold us until she joins us in group again.  Gayle is an example of what can be accomplished through perseverence and determination.  She has overcome an incredible challenge with her health and it reminds me that it's much the same with this journey we are all on.  It takes determination, which IS a choice, and perseverence, which IS a choice.  So as you read this interview, let it be a reminder to us all to be determined in what we are doing and to persevere when the road gets hard.  Have a great week ladies!

H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Gayle Hall

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
Husband John of 53, almost 54 years on January 1st.
Daughters Julie and Laurie and her husband Barry, and my grandchild, Cyrus who is 8 years old. I also have a wonderful Sunday School Class at First Baptist Church and a dear friend I have known for 60 years.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
Since the very first class that was held. I have been beside Julie’s side long before this program, and will be forever!

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
At my age, I discovered that I can have boundaries and have a voice. These two have been the best tools and they work well for me.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
Being able to come to all of the classes on Tuesday and share and get support from others.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Falling. . .ha ha . . .or not!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
Watching my daughter in action and seeing how she gives such support and love to the girls in group really warms my heart and makes me very, very proud as a mom. Nothing gives me a greater thrill.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
The journey begins on the inside, changing how and what you think. It’s not about the food. Baby steps toward change are really important.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tiny Tidbits

I want you to put your thinking caps on, close your eyes and go back to age 10 or 12 or even 18. What did you think your life would look like when you grew up. Did you think you would be married, or have children? If so, how many children. What did you think you would be? A teacher or a doctor, or did you think you would not work outside the home and raise children? What picture did you paint? What dream did you have for your life?

Of course, many of us, if not most would say that the picture they painted of their life when they were younger is not even close to the reality they live out today. Many of us, if not most would also say that there is a disappointment, deep regret or even bitterness that their life did not turn out like they had hoped or dreamed. That gap between the picture or dream and our reality can become a cesspool for painful suppressed emotions that in turn promote unhealthy behaviors.
When we let go of this picture that we painted about our life, and just allow the story to unfold as God intended, it creates a whole world of expansion for growth and other things to come in.
A life that is much bigger and fuller, in so many other ways than we had imagined, will emerge.

So it is with our journey of lifestyle change. Many of us have painted a picture of this journey we are on. Many of us have painted the picture of "I've failed so many times before, why will this time be different" or "I'll never be able to eat anything good again" or "I'm going to loose this weight and then never gain a pound again" or "I'm going to be a size. . . (you fill in the blank) or my favorite "Once I loose this weight, then I'm done forever with this journey". The point is that we miss out on so much this journey has to offer by painting a picture in advance. It also leaves so much room for disappointment when we posture this way. God has so much waiting for each one of us, day by day, as it unfolds, step by step. We only have to be willing to be on the journey. Sometimes He leads us up a hill and the journey is challenging which provides our muscles for life. Sometimes He lets us slide down the hill and the journey seems easier which teaches us confidence. God will provide all the lessons and scenery along the road. Trust that He will give each one of us what we need, right when we need it.

My encouragement for all of us this week, and the rest of this year, is to allow the journey to unfold, as we take the baby steps forward. God will provide all the rest! Have a great week and take some time to enjoy the scenery on this wild and wonderful journey called lifestyle change!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Julie's Journal

As most of you know, I have rededicated myself to tightening up in some areas on my personal journey of lifestyle change. I’m reverting back to some behaviors that I’ve used before in this journey. While I have no control over some of the medical issues that I am challenged with right now, I do have control over how I eat, how much I eat and how I incorporate fitness into my life given these challenges.

I am on the second full week of this commitment and I have noticed something. Something that feels faintly familiar. I am once again single minded about “health and wellness”. . . . hmmm, that’s not entirely accurate. I am once again single minded about “loosing weight and fitness”. The point being that I have begun to notice that I think about nothing EXCEPT food, what kind, how much, when I eat, shopping for that food, how much I weigh, when I weigh, writing the food that I can’t stop thinking about in the food journal, when I’ll do that and how often I’ll write it. When I get to the end of the day and lay down to go to sleep, I go through the day’s events and go through the list I just gave, one by one, to see how I did in each category. Does anybody see a pattern here??

I do believe in being single-minded to a degree while on this journey of lifestyle change, BUT, not at the expense of the rest of my life. Just as I used to be obsessed with eating and every subject surrounding food, I also became just as obsessed with weight loss and fitness when I first began the journey toward health and wellness. It really does look like a pendulum swing. . . binge eating, no weighing and morbid obesity to extremely controlled eating, daily weighing and excessive fitness. Either way, I was still missing life! I have noticed the pattern arising in my life again, but fortunately I see the red flag, I know what that flag represents and I’m not buying it! The whole point of lifestyle change is so that we are no longer in bondage to our thoughts, our choices, and especially and to our weight! I want to live, and walk the dog, and read, and play with my nephew, and hike in the mountains, and swim in the ocean, and visit the elderly shut-ins, and jog, and dress up, and sing loud in Church, and have deep spiritual conversations, and so on and so on and so on. . . . . .

How are you doing at “living” these days? Are you so focused on the steps that you’re taking that you forget to look around at the passing scenery, which happens to be your life? Are you not focused enough on the steps you’re taking on this journey of lifestyle change so that you stumble and even fall on this journey? Red flags simply mean it’s time to adjust. I know one thing for sure . . . it is time for me to lean into the middle ground. What about you?

Have a great week ladies and I’ll see you on Tuesday!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Practical Ponderings

Hello loved ones! This has been a great week of new beginnings for several of us. I made a commitment with my workout partner to weigh, with each of us knowing each others weight, to make a food journal and to begin journaling our food intake and fitness during the week. When I feel like I am spiraling out of control on this journal of lifestyle change, the thing I know to do is throw out some anchors to stop the spiraling. One of the anchors that I know works is using a food journal to track exactly what and when I am eating. It helps me be conscious of what and how much I am eating, and it helps me know when to eat. Every three to four hours works for me. Also, another anchor is to have a partner in the gym. It keeps me accountable and it is so much more fun and rewarding if I have a partner in crime! Weighing once a week is another anchor that stops the spiraling. I just need to see where I am and how I am doing. If my weight is not going down, and there are no medical reasons for it, then I need to change something in the game plan. This week, several others joined me in this endeavor of throwing anchors out and I want to applaud you. We will ALL do this together. When we feel off track, one of the greatest anchors of all is just admitting it and not trying to hide it. I have done that this week and it seems several others have also. This is the stuff lifestyle journeys are made off. Sometimes on track, and sometimes not, but honestly knowing which is the truth and making the adjustments necessary. Smartest people I know. . . I keep telling ya!!

Have a great week reclaiming your journey ladies!

Friday, October 9, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

I was talking with a co-worker about a specific scene in the movies that just related so much to the journey of lifestyle change. It was the scene where Indiana Jones is inside the cave or cavern and he's reading the riddle that will get him safely through the cave, when he comes to end of the path. Over the edge, where the path ends, is a drop off into darkness. There is literally nothing below, nothing in front and nothing above him. Just blackness and nothing. His directions however, tell him to take a step right out into the darkness, into the nothing. He ponders. . . to believe the riddle, or to believe what he "sees". The riddle tells Indy to take a 'leap of faith' so he slowly, and with great trepidation, steps out into the void. To his astonishment his foot lands on something solid, yet he appears to be standing in midair.

Indiana Jones could have missed the journey and stayed stuck right there at the end of the path, where he did not want to be. Instead, he took the leap of faith and that one step lead to another and another until he was exactly where he wanted to be! So it is with our journey of lifestyle change. Sometimes our shame, or the racket, or our desire to please others at any cost, or our choice not to use our voice or our co-dependent behaviors keep us stuck at the end of the path, and because we don't understand it all and cannot see in front of us, we just stay stuck right there. We do not have to have it all figured out folks! We can just "take a leap of faith" and trust those who have walked it before us, and just step out into the darkness. One thing that I know that I know that I know. There will either be a hard place for your foot to land, or you will be given wings with which to fly over the darkness and a flashlight to see the way!

There are many times on this journey where we will feel like we are at that drop off, and I am convinced that those are the times that we just need to step. The rest will fall into place. I don't have to know all the why's, when's, where's and how's of my past or my racket or my unhealthy behaviors. I just need to trust the process, trust the heart of God, and be willing to take a leap of faith. Have a great week end ladies. Remember. . .you are the smartest people I know!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Hi friends, and I do mean friends. Your support during this stressful time has meant a great deal to me and I wanted to take a minute to thank you. I am happy to report that while my mother is still in the hospital, she is doing much better. There were some very dark days when we were not sure of the outcome, but she has turned the corner and is doing much better. We hope to have her in a position to go to rehab soon. After a couple of weeks there, she should be well enough to take the next step, although we are not quite sure what that will be. That's OK, we don't have to know. All I really have to know is the God has us safely and securely in His hands and I really do know that. Boy does that truth make the rough times and strong winds bearable. In fact I just said last night, that the harder the winds blow, the less I sway. I think the winds just make me squeeze tighter on to His hand and deepens my resolve to stay the course. Anyway, again, thanks for all the love and support you have shown my family.

This month's interview is from a group member who has been with this program since it's inception! Take care ladies, enjoy your week end (especially those of you heading to the hills!) and we will meet again next week.


H.O.P.E Individual Interview

What is your name?
Angie Gay

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E. ?
My husband David for 29 years, my sons Ryan(25) and Justin(22) and my Mom who gives me her support and love every single day.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E. Participant?
I am and original member of H.O.P.E.. I’ve lost count but I believe it’s been 6 maybe 7 years.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. ?
Every single tool has been useful. But to pick one that keeps me going would be “baby steps”. When moving forward on making changes, I would always go for perfection. Walk 2 miles everyday, eat a healthy food plan everyday, and write in a journal everyday. First there is no perfection, second I failed every single time. The changes would never last. Then Julie and Cathy taught me about “baby steps”. At the beginning I broke the changes into tiny steps and when they became consistent I would step them up. I moved slowly because I realize this isn’t a race to the end but a journey for the rest of my life.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. Program?
I’ve done some things I never thought possible. I’ve hiked a mountain in Hawaii and I got on a snowmobile and rode through the most breathtaking scenery I’ve ever seen.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
I would say my obsessing on the numbers (i.e. pounds lost). I have found that this journey is about so much more. I also know about myself, that when I focus on weight loss I usually get stuck and find I’m not moving forward.

What does the H.O.P.E. Program mean to you personally?
H.O.P.E. brought back my JOY. Julie and Cathy have created a program that is life changing!

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
I don’t know if I have any wisdom to share but I would like to say, if you are just beginning or anywhere on your journey – live “as if “, throw out the “ wait until “ and live your life knowing you are LOVED.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Hi Everyone!
Hope you all are having a great week this week as we move into the fall season and cooler weather. Fall has always been my favorite time of year for the obvious reason of much needed cooler weather, but also because of the vibrant colors everywhere you look. Unfortunately, it has been a very difficult beginning of the season for my family as my mother has been very sick. She is receiving the best of medical care and we are hopeful that it will result in the return of her health to a meaningful degree. Thank you for all of your concern, cards and prayers. They are deeply appreciated.

"If you are in your comfort zone, then you are likely not in the will of God." I heard this statement recently and it really resonated with me. Then almost immediately, I related it to the journey of lasting lifestyle change. For me, "comfort zone" means all the places I know so well, all the places that feel comfortable only because they are familiar to me. When I find myself in those known places on my journey of lifestyle change, the odds that I am growing in a healthy direction are fairly slim.

Walking in new and unknown places are what cause me to stretch and grow. Comfort zones, or the known, keep me in the old and unhealthy places. This unknown, rocky, brier filled, pot-hole covered path is what will stretch us and build our muscles and ultimately create the "lasting" in lasting lifestyle change. Can you relate to this, and if so, in what way? Can you name the comfort zones on your journey of lasting lifestyle change? What are some ways to intentionally stay away from the comfort zones in our lives and walk toward the unknown?

Enjoy your week end and I look forward to seeing you next week!

Friday, September 11, 2009

H.O.P.E Highlight

Hi ya'll! That's quite a southern greeting, isn't it! Hope you have had a great week and made some forward momentum in your journey of lifestyle change. Lifestyle change. What exactly does that mean? Have you ever thought about it? "Lifestyle" is described as a pattern of behaviors and attitudes. The definition of "change" is becoming different, passing from one phase to another.

This past week someone lamented about the boocoos of time she spent buried in self help books on change. Her great intentions never produced any lasting lifestyle transformation. The missing element? ACTION! It takes action to create change. That simple! OK, OK, I know it's not THAT simple, but we don't need to make it so complicated either.

Are you stuck in the mire of learning how to change without taking the steps to move forward OR are you taking some type of action step on your journey right now? Please share any motivating tips you may have in regards to getting up and moving forward. Ladies, take a few minutes this week to check the momentum of your journey. Make your efforts count!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Julie's Journal and Individual Interview

Hi Everybody! Thank you so much for asking where the blog post was last week. It encourages me that some folks are actually expecting it each week. That rocks! I had a busy week with some medical things last week and did not spend much time in the office, so I am combining the posts this week. That means you get another two for one post. I just want to spend a minute talking about something that is most important on this journey. . . attitude. Oh what a difference an attitude can make, whether it is positive or negative. Most of us now know what the research confirms about someone who has had a negative attitude through the years. It has a negative impact physically. Another confirmation of how it's all connected. Spirit, mind, body and emotions. Research also confirms that a positive attitude can make a world of difference when someone is going through a life challenge. Are you a optimist, or a pessimist? How does your attitude impact your journey of lasting lifestyle change? Can you choose your attitude?

I was blessed richly by reading the following Individual Interview by Kindra. Hope you ladies enjoy it as much as I did. Have a great week!


H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Kindra Savage

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
I have been married to my husband, Bob, for 24 years and I have a son, Eric, a Senior at Ardrey Kell High School and a daughter, Shelby, a Junior at Ardrey Kell High School.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
I have been blessed to be a H.O.P.E participant for a year and a half.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
Wow—the most useful tool? Every single tool has been useful for me, but I guess the key tool and turning point for me was to tie my unhealthy eating/binges with what I was feeling. Whenever I started bingeing, I began to write what was going on at the time. Sometimes I wouldn’t write until after I binged, but nevertheless, I was shocked to see the connection. I was eating unhealthy so I wouldn’t have to feel!

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
To keep working at it and not make it another “all or nothing” effort. I come every single week as a gift to myself. In the past, when I didn’t eat healthy and gained weight, I would just give up and isolate. HOPE has taught me it is a journey of ups and downs and I can keep at it. I no longer have long seasons of eating unhealthy or “perfect diet and exercise” only to go back to one or the other. I go with the ups and downs of my life, being gentle and realizing I am still of value and worth~ no matter where I am in this journey! Yay!

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
To not wallow in the years of regret and waste of my life. To accept this is for the rest of my life and I can grow up, be an adult and learn to meet my own needs. Yes, I wish I’d gotten this sooner, but thank God for HOPE—I get it NOW!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
Ahhh…the name HOPE says it all. It is my lifeline to ME focusing on ME and taking care of myself. It is my safe support group of women who speak my language and accept me just as I am. I learn so much from what others share. It is Jesus gifting me with a place I can tell my secrets with no shame and be taught the Truth about who I was always meant to be.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
When I first came to HOPE I was tentative because I had tried every diet and read every self help book I could imagine and I was so burnt out on becoming hopeful something would work only to find it never did for long. I couldn’t take one more yo-yo disappointment and wanted to give up. So when I came I was still looking for the “magic diet/answer” that would cure me once and for all from this life of struggle. For the first nine months I kept gaining more weight because I just hated becoming AWARE of what was behind my unhealthy eating. I didn’t want to deal with it, but I just kept coming to the meetings. I have much more to lose, but I have lost 44 pounds so far, and AMAZINGLY it’s NO LONGER THE SCALE that determines my success or value! I learned there is no magic diet or pill! The answer for me lies in pulling back the layers, seeing what is behind it all, believing His Truth for me and about me and learning with His help I can relearn how to live my life and even meet my own needs. I LOVE H.O.P.E, MY H.O.P.E SISTERS and remain ever grateful to God for the gift He has given me to live my life in abundance as He talks about. It has infected and affected me and everyone I have contact with in a positive way. Keep coming~we need each other!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Practical Ponderings

Hi everyone! Thanks to all who came and supported the H.O.P.E. One Miler. Congratulations to each one of you who crossed the finished line! You will receive your medal and T shirt at a post one miler celebration in group. Although some things did go wrong at the race, there were many things that did go right. One of those things is that each one of you made a commitment to do the race, and each one of you crossed the finish line. That IS a big deal! Another thing that went right was the support I witnessed. People partnered up and supported each other as they went around the track. The best thing that happened that day is that a little idea was hatched. Maybe, just maybe, we, the H.O.P.E. Program, could have our own event or race or one miler in the future. How cool would that be?? Pretty cool if I do say so myself! Now on to more practical things, since it is "Practical Ponderings" week!

Someone recently asked me this question in order to take care of themselves (which makes me jump for joy) and since this blog is for us and issues related to us and our journey towards health and wellness, I am going to put it out there for you guys to respond to. "What are some personal hygiene tips for minimizing sweat, odors and rashes on the skin under folds and bulges?" The summer months in particular are difficult on the body as far as sweat and rashes. When I was anywhere between 250-422 pounds, there were many places that bothered me including under my stomach, under my boobs and really anywhere there was lumps, bumps, nooks and crannies! One of the things that was most helpful for my hygiene and healing in this area was to wash the area with soap and water, dry it well and then apply plain corn starch liberally. The corn starch also helped to keep the sweat in those areas to a minimum.

Any question that relates to taking care of one's body on the journey of lasting lifestyle change is not off limits. Those of us who struggle with our weight tend to have other related issues that we have to deal with. Part of being responsible for ourselves is acknowledging these issues and obtaining the necessary information to properly care for our bodies. Kudos for asking the question, and my deep hope is that others who may have experienced this issue or have medical knowledge on this issue or have heard of something that worked for someone else can chime in with some healthy and helpful input. Thank you all for your ongoing support of this blog. It is serving folks better than you can imagine. Have a great week!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Last night Cathy, the H.O.P.E. program therapist, was sharing a story from her childhood. She and her sister would listen to Carole King on their old timey record player. In the middle of the song "Way over Yonder", the record skipped during the chorus, and it would go like this "I'm talking bout way over, way over, way over, way over. . . ." and Cathy and her sister actually learned the song that way. Even today when they sing it together, they sing it with the skip in it! We all had a good laugh about this, but then Cathy said "it's much the same with racket".

It really is much the same with racket. So may people have asked me this simple question. "Why do I always gain my weight back after I loose it?" My short answer to that would be that your record has a skip in it and it keeps repeating an unhealthy message that in turn dictates your return to unhealthy eating behaviors. The skip that impacts most people on this journey is shame. The skip that says. . .
I am not enough * I am bad * I can't do it * I'll just fail like always * I should have *

When you hear the words "I should have" in your vocabulary, you can be most sure that shame is lurking very near by. My encouragement to you is to keep your ears open for this phrase in your everyday language. When you can begin to hear yourself saying this, can see the shame message is nearby, and identify it as a lie, then you have lifted the needle on the skipping record of your life. The next step is to actually change the record to a positive, affirming, loving message. I call it changing the record from Trash to Truth. Behavior that flows from racket and lies is unhealthy and behavior that flows from truth and authenticity is healthy.

Do you have a skip in your record? Can you identify what the skips are that keep you in an unhealthy place? It's time to pick the needle up and stop listening to the skip.
Have a great rest of the week and I will see you all on Saturday at the H.O.P.E. One Miler.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

A question was posed to me this week from a fellow group member which I believe is right at the center of lifestyle change. We talked about saying "no" last week, and this relates to that topic, and I also believe many of us have asked this very valid question also. Here it is as it was asked.

"As I was writing in my journal in response to the nugget/tool for this week, "Saying No" this question arose from a place I don't like to look at too often, but it's a valid question and something that has sabotaged my best efforts before:
What if the other person REFUSES to respect/honor my "No" even when I mean it?"

Well group, what are your thoughts on this relevant, valid and 'fundamental to our healthy journey' question? What then? What do we do next?

Also, this week's Individual Interview is a treat. Make sure and catch the last question she answers. Enjoy, and have a great week ladies!


H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Marguerite

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My children are glad to see me “working on this”, but don’t “get” what this journey is about. I rely greatly on the members of HOPE for support and understanding of this journey.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
It will be 4 years in October.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
One of the early tools was learning about “the racket” – negative self-talk. It’s been an ongoing journey of discovery as I realize how much of that went on within me, and continues to sneak in at times. Seeing Julie live the HOPE program has also been very significant for me to witness. The other significant “tool” is HOPE itself that provides support and validation on the journey.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
It’s been a long process for me (and continues….) I had a significant “ah-ha” moment within the last 9 months when I not only realized I was co-dependent, but began clearly seeing times when I was acting in that manner. A family crisis (which energized me into wanting to implement my most incredible co-dependent behaviors) brought me to a turning point: recognizing that I needed professional help. I’d avoided doing this for a long time, but knew in that moment that this was the next step. It continues to be a useful tool for me at this time in my life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Getting “moving”! With the support of another HOPE member, and a deluxe tour of the “Y” facilities by Julie, I finally managed to get into the pool and start walking. It’s slow going, but I found myself getting excited last week when I realized that I’d walked ¼ mile (8-laps back and forth). Somehow thinking of it in those terms makes it awesome to me!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It’s the “missing link” for me. When I came to “HOPE”, I had just lost 50 #’s, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but knew that with at least 50 more pounds to lose, that my lifetime weight loss issues weren’t about how much food I was eating. HOPE was the place that gave voice to the “missing link”. The other wonderful thing about HOPE is that it is facilitated by professionals. Having a professional there is what made it safe for me and kept me coming. Of course, once feelings etc. came into view I managed to regain that 50 lbs., but as I now am making healthier food choices, and exercising etc., I see this 50 lbs. as the “best” weight I have ever gained, because of what I’ve learned in the process.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
It’s not about diet and food. It’s a journey, a life-time process that should not be measured in terms of days, months and years. Don’t get discouraged that if it’s not a quick fix. Keep going even when you feel you are stuck, as that is also part of the journey. Don’t be afraid of professional help if you can’t get “unstuck”. As part of one of our meetings we were told to read Psalm 139. I did and paraphrased it “just for me”, and it continues to be a comfort and reminder of my on-going journey.

Psalm 139: Paraphrase of Verses 19 – 24:

If only I will let You heal the shame that denies
the awesome creation you have wrought in me.

I often speak of myself with derision and shame,
Allowing the woundedness of others to name me.

I do not hate those who have hidden my eyes and heart
from the beauty that You have always delighted in.

You wait for me to look beyond the veil of shame,
and to see You have always been with me.

Search me, O God, know my heart –
and remove the shame and fears that are there.

Help me to claim the wholeness you desire for me,
and to honor You always with all my being.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Tiny Tidbits

I just received an inspirational, but pain filled email from someone who has perceived that it is time to change. Wait a sec . . . let me rephrase that. I just received an inspirational, but pain filled email from someone who has perceived it is time to change, and is asking for support as she takes an action step on this journey of lifestyle change. I think about this often. What makes someone perceive that something has become painful enough, that they must make a change? I felt that way on my couch when my mom handed me a picture of my nephew and me, and I almost fell off the couch. I truly saw (perceived) myself exactly where I was. A woman who was well over 400 pounds and desperate to change.
(NOTE: Not who I was. . .but where I was)

What then, makes that same person make a decision to act on that perception? In other words, putting the rubber to the road on lifestyle change. There are so, so many ways to put the rubber to the road on this journey if change. What do you think "putting the rubber to the road" means in regards to lifestyle change for you? In what ways have you begun to put the rubber to the road? Do you think it is always related to fitness or food choices?

Thank you all for your faithfulness in reading the blog and especially for sharing your lives and experiences in the comments that you leave. I have had more positive responses about the comments that are left than even the blog itself! Have a wonderful weekend and remember one thing. . . y'all are the smartest people I know!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Julie's Journal

Last June I talked Yarby Williams, one of our H.O.P.E. participants, into joining me for the Krueger Memorial Splash & Dash. The concept was beyond her scope of comprehension and comfort. She did not believe she could do it because at this time she was unable to walk a mile. With some training, encouragement, fellow H.O.P.E. participants and committed family members, Yarby decided she would sign up for the H.O.P.E. one miler. With me and her family beside her, and a lot of sweat and tears, Yarby completed the H.O.P.E. one miler portion of the Splash & Dash. At this point Yarby had been on her journey of Lifestyle Change for about 6 months.

Fast forward to yesterday. I went to visit Yarby in the hospital. She has lost 200 pounds to date and had some of the excess skin removed from her now much smaller frame. I asked her this year if she would participate in the H.O.P.E. one miler with me and here is her reply: "I am so thankful to be able to be a part of it this year. It will be so much easier now that I am able to do 3 miles."

Yarby's story is no different than all of ours during our journey of Lifestyle Change. One step at a time leads us to where we want to be. Walt Whitman said, "For what is the present, after all, but a growth out of the past." I truly agree with this quote. One baby step after another. My encouragement to those of you who are reading this BLOG is to take a "step" and challenge yourself- Come join us for the H.O.P.E. one miler on Saturday, August 15th at 8:30am. It will be an opportunity to join with others who embrace a healthy lifestyle. You can join us in a few ways: Sign up for the entire 1 mile, a portion of the mile or at the H.O.P.E. tent during the race. Here the website for more information and to sign up. You may also fill out the form and give it me.


http://www.ymcacharlotte.org/harris/programs/fitnesswellness/gkrr.aspx

To prepare for this event, we meet every Tuesday and Friday at the Harris YMCA track near the Teen Center at 9am. Come join us!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Practical Ponderings

How about this for a practical fact. . . . .
Sleeping burns MORE calories than watching TV.
Now that IS a practical fact!! Here is the calculator to help figure the calories burned for different activities. http://www.lowfatweekly.com/calorie_burning_calculator.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I sat pondering the many practical things necessary for lasting lifestyle change, I kept asking myself 'what does 'practical' really mean for this journey and isn't it different for each person?" I looked up the actual definition of 'practical' on thefreedictionary.com, and here is what it said;
~acquired through practice or action, rather than theory, speculation, or ideals
~involving the simple basics
.
Wow! These definitions are extremely full of wisdom. How do these definitions resonate with you, right where you are on this journey of change?
What do you think connects it all together?
.
Have a healthy week. . . . . spirit, mind, body and emotions!

Friday, July 10, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

We had a great conversation yesterday in H.O.P.E. about the roots that we cultivate and nurture as we are on this journey of lifestyle change. A comment that really reminded me of my journey toward change, especially during the first year or so was as follows:

"My roots feel like they are wadded up and restricted with no room to grow, like some of the roots are choking the life out of everything else. I need room to breathe and grow and change."

We talk about how important it is to have roots on this journey. Strong deep roots. But what if those roots we are nurturing are strong, deep unhealthy roots? Then the fruit or leaves(behavior) we produce will be unhealthy also. Some of the unhealthy roots I struggled to pull up out of my life were shame, fear, isolation, rejection and rage just to name a few. They were choking the life out of the very plant they were intended to support and nurture. Just like the comment above, the rotten roots in my life were actually choking the life out of me. I was simply existing, over 400 pounds with very few relationships that were healthy, and was just about completely smothered in shame. My behavior was dictated by fear and rage and shame, so I ate. . . and ate. . . and ate. . . and ate!

I too needed room to breathe. . . and grow. . . and change. Remember, some of these sick roots can be very deep(from childhood) and can be very strong(lies or racket). How would you prune these unhealthy roots out? How would you find healthy seeds that would produce healthy roots? How can you nurture the new healthy seeds as they begin to take root in your life. These healthy roots will allow you to breathe. . . and grow. . .and change!

Hope to see you next week. Have a fun, safe and healthy weekend!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Hi everyone. Could it get any hotter?? Oh yeah, it's just the start of July so the answer to that question is YES!! I missed group on Tuesday, but it was for a good reason. I was hiking a very big mountain in 20 degree cooler temperature and enjoying the place I feel the best around these parts. There is something about the mountains that brings me back to an even place. It has been a difficult several months, so a mental health day was in order and boy did it help. The hike I did was rated extraneous, 5 miles of serious uphill hiking, and I completed it! With some of the challenges I've had lately, I was not positive I could really do the whole thing because it is a very physical hike. . . and hard! It's amazing what completing a challenge can do for the soul. A great feeling of accomplishment just settled over me, and it reminds me that I can overcome the challenges that the Lord allows in my life. I am refreshed and ready to go.

This month our interview is with Eilene Sheppard. Enjoy and I wish you all a Happy Fourth of July!

Individual Interview

What is your name?
Eilene Sheppard

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My two daughters, Erin and Carol, and my son, Winston are on my support team, as well as many friends, one of whom has been my friend since 6th grade -- 38 years! I am so grateful for the many supportive friends, co-workers, partners in ministry, etc...that God has blessed me with.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
I have been a regular H.O.P.E. participant at least 3 years, but did come sporadically the 1st year as I struggled to muster the courage to come into the room--sometimes just peering in from the lobby.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
This is a tough question. How does one choose one most useful tool? The tool I believe I use the most is the tool of accepting and liking myself, just as I am, for the characteristics that God gave to me. Just today, I began to feel inadequate in a situation where I was moving slow. As I talked to myself, I was able to turn that whole thing around and ask why others were moving so fast!

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
My greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program has been a deepened relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Since I am divorced and my children are grown, I am alone much of the time and have to trust in HIM for my comfort. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 54:5 My maker is my husband. The Lord Almighty is his name.
I have also been able to come to the difficult place of realization that I needed to change my employment to one that is more healthy for me. I have done that as well.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Time management by far has been my greatest challenge. Prioritizing and keeping myself and the care of myself in my time schedule has been very difficult. I have to block off time to devote to myself, as if I have an appointment, or it simply will not happen. That includes blocking off time for grocery shopping instead of fast food runs.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
I often tell others that H.O.P.E. is the best kept secret in Charlotte. H.O.P.E. has been a place of belonging for me, when there was no other place that I felt like I could be accepted. There is so much communication that is unspoken among the H.O.P.E. participants. I feel like we have all been in many of the same places emotionally, at some time or another.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
Establish ROOTS! Without the strong roots needed, the storms of life may blow you over or destroy you. Dig DEEP, and do the work necessary to have a strong root base, and the sprouts will be outward signs of healthy lifestyle change that will continue to grow.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Hi Folks!

This week you get a BOGO (buy one, get one) post. As many of you know, I went on vacation and upon my return I came down with bronchitis and a sinus infection. As a result, there was no blog last week.

When I returned from Virginia I found a tick on Tana, my dog, and pulled it off of her. I knew there had to be more but was unable to find any. Sure enough about a week later I found a brown berry on my kitchen floor. Upon closer inspection it was not a berry but an overengorged tick that was unable to move itself since its legs couldn't reach the floor. That is how I feel in my body right now.

I am in the midst of a personal struggle that has to do with my health and my weight. I have some health issues that are being treated that have caused me to gain 29 pounds in the past 9 weeks. There are several reasons for this weight gain, none of which are related to overeating, unhealthy eating or lack of fitness. I truly have no control over my body. One thing I have learned is that I always have choices in every situation. Now they may not be great choices, but nonetheless I always have choices. I could bury myself in gallons of ice cream and cinnamon chip scones but then I would be completely discouraged and have 60 pounds to lose instead of 30. I could ignore the doctor's advice and try to find my own way through this challenge. Although I am feeling afraid, discouraged, mad, and frustrated, I am choosing to go back to the basics of what I know is healthy for my body. In order for my body to have a fighting chance in this health challenge, I must do everything I know to keep it healthy. That way my body can assist in its own healing process. While there is a temptation to choose the gallons of ice cream, I know from experience what will serve me better.

I hear all of the encouraging words that my support system shares with me but even though I hear it and understand it in my head, it is very hard for me to believe it as the truth in my heart. It is hard for me not to believe the racket that is screaming at me, "You loser. You are going to gain all of your weight back. What are you doing teaching a weight loss class when you can't keep your own weight off."

Life happens. Sometimes we truly have no control over circumstance in our lives but what we do control is how we respond to the situation. Back to the basics for me means doing what worked for me in the beginning of my journey when I was over 400 pounds:

1. Challenge the racket
2. Gather support and encouragement from the safe people in my life
3. Look for encouragement where ever I can find it
4. Drink lots and lots of water
5. Keep a food journal to ensure that I am being honest with myself about food intake
6. Continue fitness as I am able. If I am not able to walk, find an alternative
7. Always share my truth. If I try to hide it, it will cause shame.
8. Listen and believe the truth, which is that I have a health crisis that will get resolved and this is merely a bump in the road.

I will lose the 30 pounds
I will get back on track
I will be healthy again

What do you do when "life happens"? Can you share a life experience that relates to this and what your action was? What helps you stay on track through a challenge you have no control over?

Have a great week, ladies!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

This week I wanted to highlight a quote that came out of group a few weeks ago and what really stirred me. I am very interested in knowing if it stirs you as well, and if so, in what way. The quote is as follows:
"I don't want anyone to come in my house and see the clutter and mess inside, just like my weight keeps people from coming in and seeing inside me."
Wow! That is one power packed statement which reflects quite a bit of truth. It seems for me that when i could not use my voice and boundaries to keep people out of my space in an appropriate, healthy way, my weight certainly accomplished the same thing! A barrier to keep people out! The problem with creating a wall with my weight to keep people out is that I wall myself in with such unhealthy stuff.


I also think that the barrier of weight really doesn't keep people "out" at all. In fact, the more weight I gained, the less healthy boundaries I did have and the less I used my voice. The other thing that really resonates with me about that comment is that my "unhealth" ALWAYS translates into other areas of my life. Remember, we are made up of spirit, mind, body and emotions. I simply cannot be really unhealthy in one circle of my life and healthy in the other three circles of my life. Just not possible. That's why I think it is fairly important to look at all four circles as we approach health and wellness.

I would love to know what you think about this comment and how you see your lifestyle change impacting other areas of your life. Make it a great week!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Last week our tool was to make a "Bucket List" about lifestyle change. Not just a list, but also why it is on our bucket list. This week we clarified what a bucket list is. One person said it represented goals, and another said dreams and hopes, and still another said it represented her, and who she is. All of the answers are correct. The goal of this exercise was so we can remember what it is we most want out of this journey. The bucket list in the movie represented all the things the man wanted to do, that he had never done, before his soon approaching death. For me, the bucket list represent why I work so hard at the emotional part of this journey, why I don't just stop and sit down, why I challenge the racket like I do, and why I work so diligently to keep shame out of my space. I want to remind myself of all the things that are important enough for me to keep pushing forward. It IS worth it. My bucket list changes from time to time, but what does not change is why I continue to move forward in lifestyle change. Maybe we all need to look at our bucket list monthly or so and revise it when necessary. It is a wonderful reminder of the joy that can come from this journey.

Our second individual interview is with K.T. Champion. It is interesting to see how different our journeys can be, yet still the same in many ways. Enjoy!



Individual Interview
What is your name?
KT Champion

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
Husband Tim and 3 children Julie, Paul and Will
Workout partner, a few friends, Maggie, Meredith and Joan

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
4+ years

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
Eat less……move more. I believe that people have issues with weight and wellness for a variety of reasons. Just as we have different reasons for becoming overweight-different eating plans and exercises work for some and not others. No commercially available food plan has ever worked for me. I do pay attention to carbohydrates and portion sizes but I basically eat less and move more. I do try to say aloud if I am eating for emotional needs and I remind myself constantly that food is fuel for my body and that’s all it is. For me there has been no magic to this journey just a lot of hard work and changes in my self talk. Mindfulness with regard to food as well as exercises that include aerobics and strengthening have been keys to my success. I did start with water aerobics and then moved to “land” exercises. It has taken a lot more exercise (and a lot harder forms of exercise) than I envisioned for myself at the beginning of this journey. I guess I really picked two tools: 1. eat less, move more and 2.mindfulness. If I could pick a third it would be 3. “changing my self talk.”

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
I have lost 70 pounds and 80 inches but an even greater accomplishment is developing my ability to navigate this journey. Food choices, exercise, lifestyle change, health and wellness are subjects that will be with me forever. In the last 4 years I have experienced medication changes, surgeries, work schedule changes, sleep issues , a new diagnosis of complex PTSD and a new diagnosis of diabetes (after losing 50 pounds) that have challenged my journey negotiation skills.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
My greatest challenge has been learning to put myself first and to continue to juggle my ever changing schedule so that I can have the right amount of time for me.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
The H.O.P.E program has changed my life in many areas by teaching me the tools needed to make the changes I have made in my life. I continue to come to H.O.P.E. because this is a journey with no prize, no finish line, and no magic weight at the end. Coming to the meetings is like a “booster shot” for me to help keep me on track and provide much needed support from safe people.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
“It is what it is.” I cannot change my genetic make up or my life experiences but I can choose to handle myself with gentleness and compassion. I can choose positive persistence in my continuing journey of lifestyle change.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Julie's Journal

I had an opportunity last night that has never occurred as long as I have been doing this group. Only one person showed up for group. We had such a deep, honest and rich conversation about. . . shame. Imagine that! That word and what it implies comes up so often in private conversations with participants, in group meetings and even in Church.

If there was a word that was the opposite of "lasting lifestyle change", I believe it would be shame. I know you guys have heard this so often, but I think this is a topic we can not hear enough about. Shame is like a cancer that erodes our progress in lifestyle change. If we are not intentional about challenging the shame messages in our lives, then our behavior will reflect it. Nothing drives me to a good old eating frenzy like a good old shame message.

I think there are three steps to getting shame out of our healthy space. First, we cannot challenge what we do not know exists. We have to first identify that we have shame messages in order to challenge them and believe something else. Many of the messages come from our childhood, from trauma or from people currently in our lives. These shaming voices may be so ingrained that they are difficult to identify without honest reflection, support of safe people or even professional help. Folks, the best news of all, is that these shame messages are learned. You and I were not born full of shame feeling such contempt for ourselves! We learned that somewhere along the way, and boy did my unhealthy eating behaviors reflect it!

After we identify a shame message, then it becomes a choice. Do we choose to believe the shame or not. The second step in ridding shame from our lives is to actually choose not to believe the shame message, to challenge the racket. My unhealthy behaviors usually reflect that I have chosen to believe the racket of shame that is yelling in the background of my mind. Last night, the lone H.O.P.E. participant and I spent a good bit of time talking about the fact that it is a choice whether to believe it or not. I promise you that if we believe the shame, our behavior (unhealthy eating) will reflect our choice.

If we choose not to believe the shame message, then what will we believe? We have to believe something. Either the shame message or the truth message. We cannot just choose to not believe shame without consciously deciding what it is we will believe instead. Choosing to believe the truth is the third step in ridding the shame in our lives. For me, my "truth" message is found in the Word of the Living God. I am told that there is no condemnation(shame) in Christ and that I am free, free, free from shame. Yippee!! Free from shame? Is that even possible? I am here to tell you that it is not only possible, but it is the greatest freedom that in turn allows us to live out our lives in the way we choose to without fear of the shameful judgement of God, ourselves, or others. Now that is freedom!

Shame always attacks the core of who I am, my personhood, my self. Conviction is always about my behavior. If I behave in a way that I feel convicted about, then I can respond responsibly with no shame. What is your 'truth message"? Where do you get your "truth message" to refute the shame in your life. Do you believe it? Does your behavior reflect that you believe it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this cornerstone topic of lasting lifestyle change.

Until next week, healthy living to all!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Practical Ponderings

This is the third week of our blog, which has been named "Practical Ponderings". I would like this week of the month to be where we talk about the practical things we do to make lifestyle change happen. Since we talk so much about the emotional piece of this journey, I wanted there to be a place where we can talk about how the "rubber meets the road" for each of us. Some of us love to walk, and we like Weight Watchers to show us how to eat. Some of us love to swim, and we do not like to subscribe to any point counting for our eating. Some of us hate exercise but count calories for our food intake. This journey is so individual, and looks different for each one of us, depending on our history, our health and our circumstances. I have found that as we share what works for us, it almost always helps someone else on their journey. Please share this week one of your favorite practical tips, whether it falls under the spirit, mind, body, as long as it relates to your journey of lifestyle change.

I'll start with one of my practical tips that always seems to serve me well. Water, water, water! The more water I drink, the better I feel and the more it facilitates health, wellness and weight loss. How about you, what is a tip that serves you well on this journey of lifestyle change?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to our second consistent week with the blog! I know some of you were holding your breath, but here it is! The second Thursday of each month we will have what's called the H.O.P.E. Highlight which is simply a comment or idea that someone in group has shared, that I find particularly profound, inspirational or thought-provoking. I have decided to keep names out of the blog for obvious reasons of privacy, but feel free to claim the quote if it is yours and you would like to.

As usual, we have had some awesome discussions about what keeps us stuck in some pretty unhealthy behaviors. One of the things we have talked about recently is that fear is at the core if co-dependency. One participant commented that "fear is sneaky in my life, not as obvious as it used to be". Then another followed up saying "My fear is like a wolf in sheep's clothing". I found that statement to be oh so true for me also.

Can you identify the ways that your fear(which is at the CORE of co-dependency) appears like a wolf in sheep's clothing as you attempt lasting lifestyle change?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Hi Everybody! Welcome back to the H.O.P.E. Blog where we can come together and meet each other anytime we like. I invite you to sign up so that you can make comments and keep the conversation going. I want this to be a place where we can all share our experience with lifestyle change openly and honestly. There are many ups and downs and all arounds on this journey, and what keeps us moving forward is support from other on the same journey and practicing the emotional strategies(tools) that we learn each week in group. Here's what you can expect each week.

First Thursday of Month - Individual Interview
Second Thursday of Month - H.O.P.E. Highlight
Third Thursday of Month - Practical Ponderings
Fourth Thursday of Month - Julie's Journal
Fifth Thursday of Month(if there is one) - Surprise??

Before we get started with our first individual interview, I was asked to post a reminder on the Blog today that is extremely important for all of us to remember. There are 7 measures of success on the journey of lasting lifestyle change. The scale counts as 1/7 of the equation. That leaves a whole lot more measures of success. In fact, I think there are many more than 7. Put on your thinking caps and let's see if we can come up with more than 10 and share them here. (Just a side note, but I remember when KT and I were working so hard in the gym preparing for some event, maybe the half marathon, and she was not loosing weight. She was making extremely healthy food choices and working out like a hound dog, but no weight loss. Well guess how many inches she was loosing?? Several a week and then after a month or two she began to loose body weight again. She lost over 60 inches total, including 10 around her waist alone!) Just an example of a measure of success.

On to our first interview with Yarby Williams and I'll be checking in to see the ongoing conversation and to leave my own comments as well. Enjoy ladies, this is your space.

Individual Interview
What is your name?
Yarby Williams

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My husband John and three grown daughters, four grandchildren age 4 and under, and 5th grandchild due the end of June, a professional counselor, and numerous praying friends

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
18 months

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
“Act as if” After learning much about the emotional aspect of overeating in the first three months I attended H.O.P.E., I began to put into practice the actual lifestyle journey change, although I didn’t really “feel like” doing it. I knew it was time, and decided to use this favorite tool and just act like I really wanted to do it and eventually I actually grew into really wanting to do it, to the glory of God and for myself, not for my mother or anyone else.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
I began Weight Watchers 14 1/2 months ago, and exercise a couple of months later, first walking and then swimming. I have now lost 177 pounds and am no longer just existing, but living life! I’m off most of my medications and feel so much better. I’m excited about losing 23 more pounds and staying close to goal for life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Finding middle ground instead of “all or nothing”. I once feared ever going off my “diet plan” but now I realize that this is a lifestyle change journey and not a diet and I can’t live in the “all or nothing” for life. If I don’t do just right one day, I can now move forward the next day, the next meal, without feeling like all is lost.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It has given me my life back, literally. I do believe I wouldn’t be alive today if I had not found hope through H.O.P.E.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
Ask for and give encouragement and prayer support. Work the program and let the program work for you. Learn and use the tools, even if it begins with “acting as if”. Take advantage of the support of others in the group and share openly with them and enjoy this journey of lifestyle change one day (and one meal) at a time.