Friday, October 23, 2009

Julie's Journal

As most of you know, I have rededicated myself to tightening up in some areas on my personal journey of lifestyle change. I’m reverting back to some behaviors that I’ve used before in this journey. While I have no control over some of the medical issues that I am challenged with right now, I do have control over how I eat, how much I eat and how I incorporate fitness into my life given these challenges.

I am on the second full week of this commitment and I have noticed something. Something that feels faintly familiar. I am once again single minded about “health and wellness”. . . . hmmm, that’s not entirely accurate. I am once again single minded about “loosing weight and fitness”. The point being that I have begun to notice that I think about nothing EXCEPT food, what kind, how much, when I eat, shopping for that food, how much I weigh, when I weigh, writing the food that I can’t stop thinking about in the food journal, when I’ll do that and how often I’ll write it. When I get to the end of the day and lay down to go to sleep, I go through the day’s events and go through the list I just gave, one by one, to see how I did in each category. Does anybody see a pattern here??

I do believe in being single-minded to a degree while on this journey of lifestyle change, BUT, not at the expense of the rest of my life. Just as I used to be obsessed with eating and every subject surrounding food, I also became just as obsessed with weight loss and fitness when I first began the journey toward health and wellness. It really does look like a pendulum swing. . . binge eating, no weighing and morbid obesity to extremely controlled eating, daily weighing and excessive fitness. Either way, I was still missing life! I have noticed the pattern arising in my life again, but fortunately I see the red flag, I know what that flag represents and I’m not buying it! The whole point of lifestyle change is so that we are no longer in bondage to our thoughts, our choices, and especially and to our weight! I want to live, and walk the dog, and read, and play with my nephew, and hike in the mountains, and swim in the ocean, and visit the elderly shut-ins, and jog, and dress up, and sing loud in Church, and have deep spiritual conversations, and so on and so on and so on. . . . . .

How are you doing at “living” these days? Are you so focused on the steps that you’re taking that you forget to look around at the passing scenery, which happens to be your life? Are you not focused enough on the steps you’re taking on this journey of lifestyle change so that you stumble and even fall on this journey? Red flags simply mean it’s time to adjust. I know one thing for sure . . . it is time for me to lean into the middle ground. What about you?

Have a great week ladies and I’ll see you on Tuesday!


Yarbster said...

Thank you so much Julie. I really appreciate the reminder of my own "red flags" and you've given me a lot to chew on. Chewing I will be doing (in more ways than one!). Thanks for your very vauable input and example. Yarby

kindra said...

Oh my!!! Did I ever need to read this! So true! When I first started to read the blog, I expected you to say get on the band wagon and do it right--thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me to live, not weight obsess! This is spot on-right on. I was up early this morning--rereading some past tools and just realized I was shaming myself again and overeating cuz I was going to do it perfect tomorrow. This message today was just what I needed and what I believe God was already whispering to me last night-whoa!

Gelina said...

Julie it amazes me how often we are on the same page.My red flags of constantly evaluating my eating and exercise can and usually drive me to distraction. And lately that is all I've been doing. So recently I started living life again..I'm working on my art, I have taken a mini vacation to the mountains, I'm spending time with my friends, and I'm grateful to God for the wonderful things in my life. Thanks Julie for reminding me that this is part of the journey also.

Litzi said...

Hi Julie,
It sure does ring a bell. With someone like me who is "addicted to food" the same behaviors and obsessions that got me in weight trouble in the first place were transferred to my weight loss journey and so in a sense, I'm addicted to the process of getting healthy. The obsession is sort of the same only the subject has changed. Because if I spend all my time over the little details of losing weight, it looks like I'm doing something important but I know in my heart I'm not really. Doesn't make me a bad person, I just need to remember that I don't have to be tomorrow, the person I am today. So using this feedback, I can change something in my behavior to make it a better day. Doesn't have to be anything big. Weight loss is a journey, not a final destination. Great health is the final destination for me.
Litzi Yes THAT Litzi :-)