Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Practical Ponderings

Hi everyone! Thanks to all who came and supported the H.O.P.E. One Miler. Congratulations to each one of you who crossed the finished line! You will receive your medal and T shirt at a post one miler celebration in group. Although some things did go wrong at the race, there were many things that did go right. One of those things is that each one of you made a commitment to do the race, and each one of you crossed the finish line. That IS a big deal! Another thing that went right was the support I witnessed. People partnered up and supported each other as they went around the track. The best thing that happened that day is that a little idea was hatched. Maybe, just maybe, we, the H.O.P.E. Program, could have our own event or race or one miler in the future. How cool would that be?? Pretty cool if I do say so myself! Now on to more practical things, since it is "Practical Ponderings" week!

Someone recently asked me this question in order to take care of themselves (which makes me jump for joy) and since this blog is for us and issues related to us and our journey towards health and wellness, I am going to put it out there for you guys to respond to. "What are some personal hygiene tips for minimizing sweat, odors and rashes on the skin under folds and bulges?" The summer months in particular are difficult on the body as far as sweat and rashes. When I was anywhere between 250-422 pounds, there were many places that bothered me including under my stomach, under my boobs and really anywhere there was lumps, bumps, nooks and crannies! One of the things that was most helpful for my hygiene and healing in this area was to wash the area with soap and water, dry it well and then apply plain corn starch liberally. The corn starch also helped to keep the sweat in those areas to a minimum.

Any question that relates to taking care of one's body on the journey of lasting lifestyle change is not off limits. Those of us who struggle with our weight tend to have other related issues that we have to deal with. Part of being responsible for ourselves is acknowledging these issues and obtaining the necessary information to properly care for our bodies. Kudos for asking the question, and my deep hope is that others who may have experienced this issue or have medical knowledge on this issue or have heard of something that worked for someone else can chime in with some healthy and helpful input. Thank you all for your ongoing support of this blog. It is serving folks better than you can imagine. Have a great week!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Last night Cathy, the H.O.P.E. program therapist, was sharing a story from her childhood. She and her sister would listen to Carole King on their old timey record player. In the middle of the song "Way over Yonder", the record skipped during the chorus, and it would go like this "I'm talking bout way over, way over, way over, way over. . . ." and Cathy and her sister actually learned the song that way. Even today when they sing it together, they sing it with the skip in it! We all had a good laugh about this, but then Cathy said "it's much the same with racket".

It really is much the same with racket. So may people have asked me this simple question. "Why do I always gain my weight back after I loose it?" My short answer to that would be that your record has a skip in it and it keeps repeating an unhealthy message that in turn dictates your return to unhealthy eating behaviors. The skip that impacts most people on this journey is shame. The skip that says. . .
I am not enough * I am bad * I can't do it * I'll just fail like always * I should have *

When you hear the words "I should have" in your vocabulary, you can be most sure that shame is lurking very near by. My encouragement to you is to keep your ears open for this phrase in your everyday language. When you can begin to hear yourself saying this, can see the shame message is nearby, and identify it as a lie, then you have lifted the needle on the skipping record of your life. The next step is to actually change the record to a positive, affirming, loving message. I call it changing the record from Trash to Truth. Behavior that flows from racket and lies is unhealthy and behavior that flows from truth and authenticity is healthy.

Do you have a skip in your record? Can you identify what the skips are that keep you in an unhealthy place? It's time to pick the needle up and stop listening to the skip.
Have a great rest of the week and I will see you all on Saturday at the H.O.P.E. One Miler.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

A question was posed to me this week from a fellow group member which I believe is right at the center of lifestyle change. We talked about saying "no" last week, and this relates to that topic, and I also believe many of us have asked this very valid question also. Here it is as it was asked.

"As I was writing in my journal in response to the nugget/tool for this week, "Saying No" this question arose from a place I don't like to look at too often, but it's a valid question and something that has sabotaged my best efforts before:
What if the other person REFUSES to respect/honor my "No" even when I mean it?"

Well group, what are your thoughts on this relevant, valid and 'fundamental to our healthy journey' question? What then? What do we do next?

Also, this week's Individual Interview is a treat. Make sure and catch the last question she answers. Enjoy, and have a great week ladies!


H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Marguerite

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My children are glad to see me “working on this”, but don’t “get” what this journey is about. I rely greatly on the members of HOPE for support and understanding of this journey.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
It will be 4 years in October.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
One of the early tools was learning about “the racket” – negative self-talk. It’s been an ongoing journey of discovery as I realize how much of that went on within me, and continues to sneak in at times. Seeing Julie live the HOPE program has also been very significant for me to witness. The other significant “tool” is HOPE itself that provides support and validation on the journey.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
It’s been a long process for me (and continues….) I had a significant “ah-ha” moment within the last 9 months when I not only realized I was co-dependent, but began clearly seeing times when I was acting in that manner. A family crisis (which energized me into wanting to implement my most incredible co-dependent behaviors) brought me to a turning point: recognizing that I needed professional help. I’d avoided doing this for a long time, but knew in that moment that this was the next step. It continues to be a useful tool for me at this time in my life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Getting “moving”! With the support of another HOPE member, and a deluxe tour of the “Y” facilities by Julie, I finally managed to get into the pool and start walking. It’s slow going, but I found myself getting excited last week when I realized that I’d walked ¼ mile (8-laps back and forth). Somehow thinking of it in those terms makes it awesome to me!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It’s the “missing link” for me. When I came to “HOPE”, I had just lost 50 #’s, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but knew that with at least 50 more pounds to lose, that my lifetime weight loss issues weren’t about how much food I was eating. HOPE was the place that gave voice to the “missing link”. The other wonderful thing about HOPE is that it is facilitated by professionals. Having a professional there is what made it safe for me and kept me coming. Of course, once feelings etc. came into view I managed to regain that 50 lbs., but as I now am making healthier food choices, and exercising etc., I see this 50 lbs. as the “best” weight I have ever gained, because of what I’ve learned in the process.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
It’s not about diet and food. It’s a journey, a life-time process that should not be measured in terms of days, months and years. Don’t get discouraged that if it’s not a quick fix. Keep going even when you feel you are stuck, as that is also part of the journey. Don’t be afraid of professional help if you can’t get “unstuck”. As part of one of our meetings we were told to read Psalm 139. I did and paraphrased it “just for me”, and it continues to be a comfort and reminder of my on-going journey.

Psalm 139: Paraphrase of Verses 19 – 24:

If only I will let You heal the shame that denies
the awesome creation you have wrought in me.

I often speak of myself with derision and shame,
Allowing the woundedness of others to name me.

I do not hate those who have hidden my eyes and heart
from the beauty that You have always delighted in.

You wait for me to look beyond the veil of shame,
and to see You have always been with me.

Search me, O God, know my heart –
and remove the shame and fears that are there.

Help me to claim the wholeness you desire for me,
and to honor You always with all my being.