Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

A question was posed to me this week from a fellow group member which I believe is right at the center of lifestyle change. We talked about saying "no" last week, and this relates to that topic, and I also believe many of us have asked this very valid question also. Here it is as it was asked.

"As I was writing in my journal in response to the nugget/tool for this week, "Saying No" this question arose from a place I don't like to look at too often, but it's a valid question and something that has sabotaged my best efforts before:
What if the other person REFUSES to respect/honor my "No" even when I mean it?"

Well group, what are your thoughts on this relevant, valid and 'fundamental to our healthy journey' question? What then? What do we do next?

Also, this week's Individual Interview is a treat. Make sure and catch the last question she answers. Enjoy, and have a great week ladies!

H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My children are glad to see me “working on this”, but don’t “get” what this journey is about. I rely greatly on the members of HOPE for support and understanding of this journey.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
It will be 4 years in October.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
One of the early tools was learning about “the racket” – negative self-talk. It’s been an ongoing journey of discovery as I realize how much of that went on within me, and continues to sneak in at times. Seeing Julie live the HOPE program has also been very significant for me to witness. The other significant “tool” is HOPE itself that provides support and validation on the journey.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
It’s been a long process for me (and continues….) I had a significant “ah-ha” moment within the last 9 months when I not only realized I was co-dependent, but began clearly seeing times when I was acting in that manner. A family crisis (which energized me into wanting to implement my most incredible co-dependent behaviors) brought me to a turning point: recognizing that I needed professional help. I’d avoided doing this for a long time, but knew in that moment that this was the next step. It continues to be a useful tool for me at this time in my life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Getting “moving”! With the support of another HOPE member, and a deluxe tour of the “Y” facilities by Julie, I finally managed to get into the pool and start walking. It’s slow going, but I found myself getting excited last week when I realized that I’d walked ¼ mile (8-laps back and forth). Somehow thinking of it in those terms makes it awesome to me!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It’s the “missing link” for me. When I came to “HOPE”, I had just lost 50 #’s, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but knew that with at least 50 more pounds to lose, that my lifetime weight loss issues weren’t about how much food I was eating. HOPE was the place that gave voice to the “missing link”. The other wonderful thing about HOPE is that it is facilitated by professionals. Having a professional there is what made it safe for me and kept me coming. Of course, once feelings etc. came into view I managed to regain that 50 lbs., but as I now am making healthier food choices, and exercising etc., I see this 50 lbs. as the “best” weight I have ever gained, because of what I’ve learned in the process.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
It’s not about diet and food. It’s a journey, a life-time process that should not be measured in terms of days, months and years. Don’t get discouraged that if it’s not a quick fix. Keep going even when you feel you are stuck, as that is also part of the journey. Don’t be afraid of professional help if you can’t get “unstuck”. As part of one of our meetings we were told to read Psalm 139. I did and paraphrased it “just for me”, and it continues to be a comfort and reminder of my on-going journey.

Psalm 139: Paraphrase of Verses 19 – 24:

If only I will let You heal the shame that denies
the awesome creation you have wrought in me.

I often speak of myself with derision and shame,
Allowing the woundedness of others to name me.

I do not hate those who have hidden my eyes and heart
from the beauty that You have always delighted in.

You wait for me to look beyond the veil of shame,
and to see You have always been with me.

Search me, O God, know my heart –
and remove the shame and fears that are there.

Help me to claim the wholeness you desire for me,
and to honor You always with all my being.


Yarbster said...

Wow, Marguerite - that was beautiful. I love your paraphrase of the Psalm. Thanks for sharing from your heart, and congratulations on your great progress. I hope to see you in the water one of these days soon!

Antoinette said...

Thank you for sharing the Psalm 139 passage. I've not ever seen it paraphrased that way before, but it's beautiful. I'm printing it out and putting it in several places, including my Bible so I can see it all the time. I needed that today. You're a precious and beautiful gem, Marguerite. Glad I know you :-)

Gelina said...

Marguerite that was a great interview. I am so happy for you and I relate to the getting physical challenge. I've been walking some this summer. If you ever need company I would love to join you.