Tuesday, March 11, 2014

3 essentials of lasting lifestyle change

The breakout sentence from our nugget on self care two weeks ago was this: "The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other  people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allowing others to be responsible for themselves."  I cannot yell AMEN loud enough!  We have all found ourselves in this position at one time or another, most of us however do not recognize the terribly high price we pay for such behavior.  "We cannot simultaneously set a boundry and take care of another person's feelings.  It's impossible because the two behaviors contradict each other."  Self care is imperative on this journey of lasting lifestyle change.  It is good to care about people and their feelings.  It is essential to care about ourselves too.  The tool for this week was:
  • Name all the self care behaviors you displayed this week.
Last week we moved on to a conversation about the importance of accepting who I am.  Many have struggled with knowing who they are because for years they have been so submerged into the needs of others.  Being who I am, right now, right where I am, is not a limiting attitude.  Accepting and loving myself is how I enable growth and change.  If you are not sure of who you are, I encourage you to enjoy the exciting discovery.  The tool for this week:

  • Sift and big pan of dirt, with gold buried in it.  When the dirt falls out, determine what you are not.  What does the dirt represent in your life that is not you?  When all the dirt is sifted out, what is left is the chunk of gold.  That is YOU!  Finding out who you're not will show you who you are. 
Today we talked about one of the most important issues we face on this journey is learning to trust ourselves.  The most detrimental thing that has happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves.  Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves.  We can learn it again.  I know what is best for me.  I know what is right for me.  I can trust that God will lead me in the times that I am not sure.

  • Fear, doubt and confusion.  Why are these three the enemies of self trust?


Janice Lawrence said...

Great summary Julie! Thank you for blogging and for all that you do. You are loved and appreciated!

Frances said...

Julie, your blogs are so on target. Seeing these last weeks as a series of 1: accepting who I am (sifting the dust out and discovering the nugget) 2: trusting who I am (how fear, doubt and confusion denigrate self-trust) and 3) loving who I am (this weeks tool, identifying what you appreciate about yourself, I wanted to note that as hard as 1 and 2 are, the third step is the worst! In our group, the whole conversation devolved back to fear and doubt... I was much more comfortable expressing anecdotes of that! Appreciating myself? Nah...