Friday, March 12, 2010

OK, So I Did What I Didn't Want To Do. . .Now What?. .

I'd like to thank all of you for your cards, phone calls and well wishes!  As many of you know, the procedure did not go as expected.  It was WORSE than expected!  And on top of that, it was not effective.  The Dr. could not get the stimulator in the right position in order for me to determine if I could get any pain relief.  Instead of my feet buzzing like the stimulator was supposed to do, my ribs and waist line were buzzing.  The next step is to go to the Neurosurgeon and he will knock me out (Hallelujah!!) and go in and get rid of the adhesions that blocked the Dr. the first time around.  That will be most likely some time in April or May at the latest.  I'll keep you all posted, but in the meantime, I am healing up and feel much better  Thank you all for your encouragement and support!.

I got a phone call from an old friend, who has lost a considerable amount of weight.  She wants to begin the hard work of peeling back the layers in order to relearn some messages that have not served her well in her life!  She said something that really stuck out to me.  She said "I am ready to open myself up and expose my vulnerabilities in order to search for the answers." 

Now that is a comment from someone who is serious about lifestyle change.  Willingness.  That is the word of the day, no, let's make that the word of the entire journey!!  Willingness.  I am fully convinced that when I am willing, . . .  willing to ask the hard questions, willing to look at myself, willing to get connected again and to feel, and willing to define my own truth, an open and authentic life will follow! 

Are you willing this week?  Have a wonderful weekend ladies!


orcalover said...

I am so sorry to hear it didn't go as expected. Your attitude is inspiring. I hope that u finally get all that u need. I hope the same for myself. I love you julie!!!

Kimmie said...

Julie, you are inspiring and INSPIRED. 'Willingness' is indeed the key to life-style success. Even though the procedure did not go as hoped, you now have information that will enable you to make informed choices for your best course of action in the 'here and now.'

kindra said...

Yes, you are inspiring, our dearest friend and mentor, Julie! Wow, for me, the SAFETY of the group has found me willing to open up some deep places and I am discovering that I need other's perspectives because I have certainly believed ALOT of lies and my WILLINGNESS to be vulnerable due to the love and support of my friends in HOPE is beginning an inside healing that I've never experienced before! I am so grateful! I am learning from others who are WILLING to show up and share as well! Thanks!

Frances said...

Love you Julie.
You are certainly an inspiration for the willingness to peel bach the layers, to feel the pain... and the JOY.
I still balk daily at assessments that will cause squirrelly feelings. 50 years of being told to suppress them is a hard "racket" to overcome. Thanks for the reminders.
Here's to your health, ff