Friday, February 5, 2010

Tiny Tidbits

Well it's another wonderful rainy day with much of the same in the forecast the whole week end. It will be a great time to work on the household things I put off until a rainy day!  I mentioned in group this week that I was going to blog about a topic that a group member brought up and has struggled with recently.  What do we do when we are just sick of the journey of lifestyle change, tired of the day in and day out of eating healthy most of the time, weary of working out 3 days a week and just flat sick of having to "be" on this journey.  The questions then become why do we get in that place, is there any benefit to being in that place and most importantly, what can we do to walk out of that place.  This also ties into the question we have talked about over the last few weeks whether we can become completely free of emotional or compulsive overeating or do we learn to negotiate the journey for life.  I would like to ask for your help this week in answering these questions.  Even if you have no answers, I would like to hear your thoughts about these three questions.

WHY do we get so sick, tired and weary of this journey?

IS THERE any benefit to being in that place?

WHAT can we do to walk out of that place?

Although we touched on a few of these questions in group, I think there is such benefit in pondering them in ernest for clarification's sake.  Understanding how we get there and understanding how we get out is fairly important considering this journey is a lifelong journey. 

Thank you for keeping this conversation going.  You truly are the smartest people I know!!  Stay dry and I'll see you next week.


KT said...

I am not sure if this will answer any of the three questions but I definitely had 2 "Kindra light bulb" momemts driving around running errands after group on Tues.

I find that I accept WITHOUT ISSUE that many things in life require a little or even maybe even a lot of work. Having a good marriage did not just happen the day of the wedding...we have to have date nights, alone time etc...Being a good mom did not just happen the day of the birth I have to work at to other moms, read the books, practice and make mistakes. Being a good physcial therapist requires continuing education to keep up with my skills and learn new techniques. Even having a fun hobby sometimes requires practice. For some reason I accept all of that without issue but weight loss and health and wellness are supposed to "just happen." Why do I think I have to work on and practice everything else in my life EXCEPT health and wellness? I guess it about being postured as a victim stance. Woe is me...I have weight issues.

I do get absolutely weary of being the mom sometimes and I get tired of being the physical therapist.I think it makes perfect sense that I also get tired of having to think about food and exercise. I think it is just natural and normal to get tired and frustrated about all kinds of things in our lives. I think that being exhausted makes me look for other ways to negotiate and continue on the journey and EVENTUALLY gives me fresh ideas. It challenges me to find new, innovative and exciting ways to continue this expedition.

I have thought about the journey and the process a lot this week and if I look back some of the changes have been PROFOUNDLY slow. We used to eat thick crust pizza. Maybe 15 years ago a doctor told me that someone with polycystic ovaries needed to be mindful of carbs so we started getting thin crust pizza. Several years ago we switced to whole wheat pizza crust because whole grains are considered healthier. Now we make pizza with low carb tortillas with low fat cheese and boca bugers. It has probably truly taken 15 years to make these changes. Slow baby steps, minfulness, walking as if... This is the journey of my life that I can choose to be on each and every day. I will never be free from whatever choice I want to make about these issues for the rest of my life. I do not want to be free from the choice either. God gave me the abilites to make choices to learn and grow and the freedom to do so.

That was quite the response...sorry so wordy. Thanks Kindra and everyone else....the vibrant and hard working women of the HOPE group enrich my life immensely and energize me every time I come. YAY!

KarenN said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KarenN said...

1 -* WHY do we get so sick, tired and weary of this journey?

2 - * IS THERE any benefit to being in that place?

3 - * WHAT can we do to walk out of that place?

Wonderfully challenging questions.

1 - I get sick, tired, and weary of this journey because:
I focus too much on it. Like the saying: "Eat to live, don't live to eat." Well I find myself living to lose weight instead of losing weight to live.
Also, I don't vary my routines surrounding food and diet. Lack of variety brings boredom but fear of changing something that seems to be working trumps that boredom....for awhile.
Then the boredom is finally dealt all spades and wins. But since I have no other plan, I go back to my old ways. Essentially I become a poor loser. (No pun intended)
2- Is there a benefit to this place...definitely but only now since confronted with the question from Julie have I realized that. I need to get my game on. I need a strategy to keep boredom from winning. More importantly I need a strategy when boredom does begin to take control. If boredom does win a hand. I need to start the next game with a new deck.

3- I need to walk out of that game grab that new deck of cards and be brave enough to walk back into the game with new confidence because I playing a new full deck. That deck needs to be filled with new healthy food recipes as well as some new exotic veggie or fruit. I need to "shake" things up with a new way of dealing by trying some type of exercise I haven't done before.
I'm a very competitive strategic game player and it's time I treat my weight loss and goal of better health like a game. If my strategy in a game isn't working or stops working, I change it. Guess that explains why I'm trying yoga now.
I'm also going to jump on the new exercise band wagon. Essentially when you are ready to add more to your exercise routine, more time than intensity may be the way to go to burn more fat.

Thanks Julie, great questions.

February 6, 2010 2:40 AM

Yarbster said...

I've been doing a lot of "chewing" on this one and spent my hour of "addiction counseling" this past week talking with my therapist about it. At the beginning of our time together he said that because I am 'free indeed' yes eating or non-eating should be a non-issue. After much discussion and deliberation we finally agreed that although I do have the freedom to sin or not sin (overeat or not), I must continue to walk by the Spirit and I will not carry out the desire of my flesh. But that is a process - the process of sanctification (becoming more like Jesus). As long as I continue in an upward continuum in that process and lean on Jesus to help me make the correct choices I am in the process of sanctification and it takes time and a lot of prayer. It is okay that I am not immediately strong enough to resist certain foods and that I need to continue to struggle and resist and not just expect it to "be a done deal". Yes we can be completely free in our behavior but it is a process and must be dealt with daily, hourly, and even when the flesh is so weak. I am growing through struggles and it does get wearisome but if God just took away my desire for food I would not have this opportunity for growth. I must deny myself and take up my cross DAILY. I am learning to make better choices for the journey, such as eating more "filling foods" that really count toward nutrition, not just enjoyable points. With just 18 (Weight Watchers) points per day available to me I must choose them wisely and I am learning that this is all part of negotiating this journey for life. I still have much to learn and am so thankful for HOPE to help me learn these things. I am very excited to see what God has in store for HOPE for the future, and I thank Him for each of you. Yarbster

kindra said...

Wow,what everyone has shared has been such a help to me! I find myself (AGAIN) wanting to give up and I come to this blog and find HOPE (AGAIN).

I get so sick and tired of this journey as I allow it to cloud my whole life. "I'll be happy when...I'll do this when...I'll get together with them when..." I HATE having a struggle that is so visible. I know that everyone has struggles, but I resent mine being so visible to the world. I so loved the truth that KT shared that everything takes effort. I had another "light bulb" moment when I realized I'm still waiting on something magic to happen, something that won't take effort and patience and denying myself. Then my aha moment was also coming to the truth that I am STILL taking care of everyone, but me. I have no problem being responsible for everyone else's well-being and then I think I deserve to take care of me by eating everything I want, when I want it. This is not self-care, but I still live in the deception it is! I am focused MORE on food/body image than on life. To me, food and body image have been my life, but the truth is I've allowed it to take life from me. For me, it is tragic to think what my obsession with food and negative self-esteem have cost me. I hide out from people and activities because I'm in a stupor/numbed out from eating "badly, making me a bad person."
The greatest benefit to me being here is honestly my need to belong to HOPE-to be a part of people who help me understand myself better, who love me no matter what I look like and even know my secrets! To walk out of this place is to continue to love, learn and support each other and to be willing to take a different action, believing there is HOPE because of HOPE! Coming to HOPE has been the greatest treasure from this pain I've suffered. Thank you!