Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Hi Folks!

This week you get a BOGO (buy one, get one) post. As many of you know, I went on vacation and upon my return I came down with bronchitis and a sinus infection. As a result, there was no blog last week.

When I returned from Virginia I found a tick on Tana, my dog, and pulled it off of her. I knew there had to be more but was unable to find any. Sure enough about a week later I found a brown berry on my kitchen floor. Upon closer inspection it was not a berry but an overengorged tick that was unable to move itself since its legs couldn't reach the floor. That is how I feel in my body right now.

I am in the midst of a personal struggle that has to do with my health and my weight. I have some health issues that are being treated that have caused me to gain 29 pounds in the past 9 weeks. There are several reasons for this weight gain, none of which are related to overeating, unhealthy eating or lack of fitness. I truly have no control over my body. One thing I have learned is that I always have choices in every situation. Now they may not be great choices, but nonetheless I always have choices. I could bury myself in gallons of ice cream and cinnamon chip scones but then I would be completely discouraged and have 60 pounds to lose instead of 30. I could ignore the doctor's advice and try to find my own way through this challenge. Although I am feeling afraid, discouraged, mad, and frustrated, I am choosing to go back to the basics of what I know is healthy for my body. In order for my body to have a fighting chance in this health challenge, I must do everything I know to keep it healthy. That way my body can assist in its own healing process. While there is a temptation to choose the gallons of ice cream, I know from experience what will serve me better.

I hear all of the encouraging words that my support system shares with me but even though I hear it and understand it in my head, it is very hard for me to believe it as the truth in my heart. It is hard for me not to believe the racket that is screaming at me, "You loser. You are going to gain all of your weight back. What are you doing teaching a weight loss class when you can't keep your own weight off."

Life happens. Sometimes we truly have no control over circumstance in our lives but what we do control is how we respond to the situation. Back to the basics for me means doing what worked for me in the beginning of my journey when I was over 400 pounds:

1. Challenge the racket
2. Gather support and encouragement from the safe people in my life
3. Look for encouragement where ever I can find it
4. Drink lots and lots of water
5. Keep a food journal to ensure that I am being honest with myself about food intake
6. Continue fitness as I am able. If I am not able to walk, find an alternative
7. Always share my truth. If I try to hide it, it will cause shame.
8. Listen and believe the truth, which is that I have a health crisis that will get resolved and this is merely a bump in the road.

I will lose the 30 pounds
I will get back on track
I will be healthy again

What do you do when "life happens"? Can you share a life experience that relates to this and what your action was? What helps you stay on track through a challenge you have no control over?

Have a great week, ladies!

H.O.P.E. Highlight

This week I wanted to highlight a quote that came out of group a few weeks ago and what really stirred me. I am very interested in knowing if it stirs you as well, and if so, in what way. The quote is as follows:

"I don't want anyone to come in my house and see the clutter and mess inside, just like my weight keeps people from coming in and seeing inside me."

Wow! That is one power packed statement which reflects quite a bit of truth. It seems for me that when i could not use my voice and boundaries to keep people out of my space in an appropriate, healthy way, my weight certainly accomplished the same thing! A barrier to keep people out! The problem with creating a wall with my weight to keep people out is that I wall myself in with such unhealthy stuff.

I also think that the barrier of weight really doesn't keep people "out" at all. In fact, the more weight I gained, the less healthy boundaries I did have and the less I used my voice. The other thing that really resonates with me about that comment is that my "unhealth" ALWAYS translates into other areas of my life. Remember, we are made up of spirit, mind, body and emotions. I simply cannot be really unhealthy in one circle of my life and healthy in the other three circles of my life. Just not possible. That's why I think it is fairly important to look at all four circles as we approach health and wellness.

I would love to know what you think about this comment and how you see your lifestyle change impacting other areas of your life. Make it a great week!

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Last week our tool was to make a "Bucket List" about lifestyle change. Not just a list, but also why it is on our bucket list. This week we clarified what a bucket list is. One person said it represented goals, and another said dreams and hopes, and still another said it represented her, and who she is. All of the answers are correct. The goal of this exercise was so we can remember what it is we most want out of this journey. The bucket list in the movie represented all the things the man wanted to do, that he had never done, before his soon approaching death. For me, the bucket list represent why I work so hard at the emotional part of this journey, why I don't just stop and sit down, why I challenge the racket like I do, and why I work so diligently to keep shame out of my space. I want to remind myself of all the things that are important enough for me to keep pushing forward. It IS worth it. My bucket list changes from time to time, but what does not change is why I continue to move forward in lifestyle change. Maybe we all need to look at our bucket list monthly or so and revise it when necessary. It is a wonderful reminder of the joy that can come from this journey.

Our second individual interview is with K.T. Champion. It is interesting to see how different our journeys can be, yet still the same in many ways. Enjoy!

Individual Interview

What is your name?
KT Champion

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
Husband Tim and 3 children Julie, Paul and Will
Workout partner, a few friends, Maggie, Meredith and Joan

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
4+ years

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
Eat less……move more. I believe that people have issues with weight and wellness for a variety of reasons. Just as we have different reasons for becoming overweight-different eating plans and exercises work for some and not others. No commercially available food plan has ever worked for me. I do pay attention to carbohydrates and portion sizes but I basically eat less and move more. I do try to say aloud if I am eating for emotional needs and I remind myself constantly that food is fuel for my body and that’s all it is. For me there has been no magic to this journey just a lot of hard work and changes in my self talk. Mindfulness with regard to food as well as exercises that include aerobics and strengthening have been keys to my success. I did start with water aerobics and then moved to “land” exercises. It has taken a lot more exercise (and a lot harder forms of exercise) than I envisioned for myself at the beginning of this journey. I guess I really picked two tools: 1. eat less, move more and 2.mindfulness. If I could pick a third it would be 3. “changing my self talk.”

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
I have lost 70 pounds and 80 inches but an even greater accomplishment is developing my ability to navigate this journey. Food choices, exercise, lifestyle change, health and wellness are subjects that will be with me forever. In the last 4 years I have experienced medication changes, surgeries, work schedule changes, sleep issues , a new diagnosis of complex PTSD and a new diagnosis of diabetes (after losing 50 pounds) that have challenged my journey negotiation skills.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
My greatest challenge has been learning to put myself first and to continue to juggle my ever changing schedule so that I can have the right amount of time for me.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
The H.O.P.E program has changed my life in many areas by teaching me the tools needed to make the changes I have made in my life. I continue to come to H.O.P.E. because this is a journey with no prize, no finish line, and no magic weight at the end. Coming to the meetings is like a “booster shot” for me to help keep me on track and provide much needed support from safe people.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
“It is what it is.” I cannot change my genetic make up or my life experiences but I can choose to handle myself with gentleness and compassion. I can choose positive persistence in my continuing journey of lifestyle change.