Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Hi Everyone!
Hope you all are having a great week this week as we move into the fall season and cooler weather. Fall has always been my favorite time of year for the obvious reason of much needed cooler weather, but also because of the vibrant colors everywhere you look. Unfortunately, it has been a very difficult beginning of the season for my family as my mother has been very sick. She is receiving the best of medical care and we are hopeful that it will result in the return of her health to a meaningful degree. Thank you for all of your concern, cards and prayers. They are deeply appreciated.

"If you are in your comfort zone, then you are likely not in the will of God." I heard this statement recently and it really resonated with me. Then almost immediately, I related it to the journey of lasting lifestyle change. For me, "comfort zone" means all the places I know so well, all the places that feel comfortable only because they are familiar to me. When I find myself in those known places on my journey of lifestyle change, the odds that I am growing in a healthy direction are fairly slim.

Walking in new and unknown places are what cause me to stretch and grow. Comfort zones, or the known, keep me in the old and unhealthy places. This unknown, rocky, brier filled, pot-hole covered path is what will stretch us and build our muscles and ultimately create the "lasting" in lasting lifestyle change. Can you relate to this, and if so, in what way? Can you name the comfort zones on your journey of lasting lifestyle change? What are some ways to intentionally stay away from the comfort zones in our lives and walk toward the unknown?

Enjoy your week end and I look forward to seeing you next week!

H.O.P.E Highlight

Hi ya'll! That's quite a southern greeting, isn't it! Hope you have had a great week and made some forward momentum in your journey of lifestyle change. Lifestyle change. What exactly does that mean? Have you ever thought about it? "Lifestyle" is described as a pattern of behaviors and attitudes. The definition of "change" is becoming different, passing from one phase to another.

This past week someone lamented about the boocoos of time she spent buried in self help books on change. Her great intentions never produced any lasting lifestyle transformation. The missing element? ACTION! It takes action to create change. That simple! OK, OK, I know it's not THAT simple, but we don't need to make it so complicated either.

Are you stuck in the mire of learning how to change without taking the steps to move forward OR are you taking some type of action step on your journey right now? Please share any motivating tips you may have in regards to getting up and moving forward. Ladies, take a few minutes this week to check the momentum of your journey. Make your efforts count!

Julie's Journal and Individual Interview

Hi Everybody! Thank you so much for asking where the blog post was last week. It encourages me that some folks are actually expecting it each week. That rocks! I had a busy week with some medical things last week and did not spend much time in the office, so I am combining the posts this week. That means you get another two for one post. I just want to spend a minute talking about something that is most important on this journey. . . attitude. Oh what a difference an attitude can make, whether it is positive or negative. Most of us now know what the research confirms about someone who has had a negative attitude through the years. It has a negative impact physically. Another confirmation of how it's all connected. Spirit, mind, body and emotions. Research also confirms that a positive attitude can make a world of difference when someone is going through a life challenge. Are you a optimist, or a pessimist? How does your attitude impact your journey of lasting lifestyle change? Can you choose your attitude?

I was blessed richly by reading the following Individual Interview by Kindra. Hope you ladies enjoy it as much as I did. Have a great week!

H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Kindra Savage

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
I have been married to my husband, Bob, for 24 years and I have a son, Eric, a Senior at Ardrey Kell High School and a daughter, Shelby, a Junior at Ardrey Kell High School.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
I have been blessed to be a H.O.P.E participant for a year and a half.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
Wow—the most useful tool? Every single tool has been useful for me, but I guess the key tool and turning point for me was to tie my unhealthy eating/binges with what I was feeling. Whenever I started bingeing, I began to write what was going on at the time. Sometimes I wouldn’t write until after I binged, but nevertheless, I was shocked to see the connection. I was eating unhealthy so I wouldn’t have to feel!

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
To keep working at it and not make it another “all or nothing” effort. I come every single week as a gift to myself. In the past, when I didn’t eat healthy and gained weight, I would just give up and isolate. HOPE has taught me it is a journey of ups and downs and I can keep at it. I no longer have long seasons of eating unhealthy or “perfect diet and exercise” only to go back to one or the other. I go with the ups and downs of my life, being gentle and realizing I am still of value and worth~ no matter where I am in this journey! Yay!

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
To not wallow in the years of regret and waste of my life. To accept this is for the rest of my life and I can grow up, be an adult and learn to meet my own needs. Yes, I wish I’d gotten this sooner, but thank God for HOPE—I get it NOW!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
Ahhh…the name HOPE says it all. It is my lifeline to ME focusing on ME and taking care of myself. It is my safe support group of women who speak my language and accept me just as I am. I learn so much from what others share. It is Jesus gifting me with a place I can tell my secrets with no shame and be taught the Truth about who I was always meant to be.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
When I first came to HOPE I was tentative because I had tried every diet and read every self help book I could imagine and I was so burnt out on becoming hopeful something would work only to find it never did for long. I couldn’t take one more yo-yo disappointment and wanted to give up. So when I came I was still looking for the “magic diet/answer” that would cure me once and for all from this life of struggle. For the first nine months I kept gaining more weight because I just hated becoming AWARE of what was behind my unhealthy eating. I didn’t want to deal with it, but I just kept coming to the meetings. I have much more to lose, but I have lost 44 pounds so far, and AMAZINGLY it’s NO LONGER THE SCALE that determines my success or value! I learned there is no magic diet or pill! The answer for me lies in pulling back the layers, seeing what is behind it all, believing His Truth for me and about me and learning with His help I can relearn how to live my life and even meet my own needs. I LOVE H.O.P.E, MY H.O.P.E SISTERS and remain ever grateful to God for the gift He has given me to live my life in abundance as He talks about. It has infected and affected me and everyone I have contact with in a positive way. Keep coming~we need each other!

Practical Ponderings

Hi everyone! Thanks to all who came and supported the H.O.P.E. One Miler. Congratulations to each one of you who crossed the finished line! You will receive your medal and T shirt at a post one miler celebration in group. Although some things did go wrong at the race, there were many things that did go right. One of those things is that each one of you made a commitment to do the race, and each one of you crossed the finish line. That IS a big deal! Another thing that went right was the support I witnessed. People partnered up and supported each other as they went around the track. The best thing that happened that day is that a little idea was hatched. Maybe, just maybe, we, the H.O.P.E. Program, could have our own event or race or one miler in the future. How cool would that be?? Pretty cool if I do say so myself! Now on to more practical things, since it is "Practical Ponderings" week!

Someone recently asked me this question in order to take care of themselves (which makes me jump for joy) and since this blog is for us and issues related to us and our journey towards health and wellness, I am going to put it out there for you guys to respond to. "What are some personal hygiene tips for minimizing sweat, odors and rashes on the skin under folds and bulges?" The summer months in particular are difficult on the body as far as sweat and rashes. When I was anywhere between 250-422 pounds, there were many places that bothered me including under my stomach, under my boobs and really anywhere there was lumps, bumps, nooks and crannies! One of the things that was most helpful for my hygiene and healing in this area was to wash the area with soap and water, dry it well and then apply plain corn starch liberally. The corn starch also helped to keep the sweat in those areas to a minimum.

Any question that relates to taking care of one's body on the journey of lasting lifestyle change is not off limits. Those of us who struggle with our weight tend to have other related issues that we have to deal with. Part of being responsible for ourselves is acknowledging these issues and obtaining the necessary information to properly care for our bodies. Kudos for asking the question, and my deep hope is that others who may have experienced this issue or have medical knowledge on this issue or have heard of something that worked for someone else can chime in with some healthy and helpful input. Thank you all for your ongoing support of this blog. It is serving folks better than you can imagine. Have a great week!

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Last night Cathy, the H.O.P.E. program therapist, was sharing a story from her childhood. She and her sister would listen to Carole King on their old timey record player. In the middle of the song "Way over Yonder", the record skipped during the chorus, and it would go like this "I'm talking bout way over, way over, way over, way over. . . ." and Cathy and her sister actually learned the song that way. Even today when they sing it together, they sing it with the skip in it! We all had a good laugh about this, but then Cathy said "it's much the same with racket".

It really is much the same with racket. So may people have asked me this simple question. "Why do I always gain my weight back after I loose it?" My short answer to that would be that your record has a skip in it and it keeps repeating an unhealthy message that in turn dictates your return to unhealthy eating behaviors. The skip that impacts most people on this journey is shame. The skip that says. . .
I am not enough * I am bad * I can't do it * I'll just fail like always * I should have *

When you hear the words "I should have" in your vocabulary, you can be most sure that shame is lurking very near by. My encouragement to you is to keep your ears open for this phrase in your everyday language. When you can begin to hear yourself saying this, can see the shame message is nearby, and identify it as a lie, then you have lifted the needle on the skipping record of your life. The next step is to actually change the record to a positive, affirming, loving message. I call it changing the record from Trash to Truth. Behavior that flows from racket and lies is unhealthy and behavior that flows from truth and authenticity is healthy.

Do you have a skip in your record? Can you identify what the skips are that keep you in an unhealthy place? It's time to pick the needle up and stop listening to the skip.
Have a great rest of the week and I will see you all on Saturday at the H.O.P.E. One Miler.

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

A question was posed to me this week from a fellow group member which I believe is right at the center of lifestyle change. We talked about saying "no" last week, and this relates to that topic, and I also believe many of us have asked this very valid question also. Here it is as it was asked.

"As I was writing in my journal in response to the nugget/tool for this week, "Saying No" this question arose from a place I don't like to look at too often, but it's a valid question and something that has sabotaged my best efforts before:
What if the other person REFUSES to respect/honor my "No" even when I mean it?"

Well group, what are your thoughts on this relevant, valid and 'fundamental to our healthy journey' question? What then? What do we do next?

Also, this week's Individual Interview is a treat. Make sure and catch the last question she answers. Enjoy, and have a great week ladies!

H.O.P.E. Individual Interview

What is your name?
Marguerite

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My children are glad to see me “working on this”, but don’t “get” what this journey is about. I rely greatly on the members of HOPE for support and understanding of this journey.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
It will be 4 years in October.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
One of the early tools was learning about “the racket” – negative self-talk. It’s been an ongoing journey of discovery as I realize how much of that went on within me, and continues to sneak in at times. Seeing Julie live the HOPE program has also been very significant for me to witness. The other significant “tool” is HOPE itself that provides support and validation on the journey.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
It’s been a long process for me (and continues….) I had a significant “ah-ha” moment within the last 9 months when I not only realized I was co-dependent, but began clearly seeing times when I was acting in that manner. A family crisis (which energized me into wanting to implement my most incredible co-dependent behaviors) brought me to a turning point: recognizing that I needed professional help. I’d avoided doing this for a long time, but knew in that moment that this was the next step. It continues to be a useful tool for me at this time in my life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Getting “moving”! With the support of another HOPE member, and a deluxe tour of the “Y” facilities by Julie, I finally managed to get into the pool and start walking. It’s slow going, but I found myself getting excited last week when I realized that I’d walked ¼ mile (8-laps back and forth). Somehow thinking of it in those terms makes it awesome to me!

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It’s the “missing link” for me. When I came to “HOPE”, I had just lost 50 #’s, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but knew that with at least 50 more pounds to lose, that my lifetime weight loss issues weren’t about how much food I was eating. HOPE was the place that gave voice to the “missing link”. The other wonderful thing about HOPE is that it is facilitated by professionals. Having a professional there is what made it safe for me and kept me coming. Of course, once feelings etc. came into view I managed to regain that 50 lbs., but as I now am making healthier food choices, and exercising etc., I see this 50 lbs. as the “best” weight I have ever gained, because of what I’ve learned in the process.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
It’s not about diet and food. It’s a journey, a life-time process that should not be measured in terms of days, months and years. Don’t get discouraged that if it’s not a quick fix. Keep going even when you feel you are stuck, as that is also part of the journey. Don’t be afraid of professional help if you can’t get “unstuck”. As part of one of our meetings we were told to read Psalm 139. I did and paraphrased it “just for me”, and it continues to be a comfort and reminder of my on-going journey.

Psalm 139: Paraphrase of Verses 19 – 24:

If only I will let You heal the shame that denies
the awesome creation you have wrought in me.

I often speak of myself with derision and shame,
Allowing the woundedness of others to name me.

I do not hate those who have hidden my eyes and heart
from the beauty that You have always delighted in.

You wait for me to look beyond the veil of shame,
and to see You have always been with me.

Search me, O God, know my heart –
and remove the shame and fears that are there.

Help me to claim the wholeness you desire for me,
and to honor You always with all my being.

Tiny Tidbits

I just received an inspirational, but pain filled email from someone who has perceived that it is time to change. Wait a sec . . . let me rephrase that. I just received an inspirational, but pain filled email from someone who has perceived it is time to change, and is asking for support as she takes an action step on this journey of lifestyle change. I think about this often. What makes someone perceive that something has become painful enough, that they must make a change? I felt that way on my couch when my mom handed me a picture of my nephew and me, and I almost fell off the couch. I truly saw (perceived) myself exactly where I was. A woman who was well over 400 pounds and desperate to change.
(NOTE: Not who I was. . .but where I was)

What then, makes that same person make a decision to act on that perception? In other words, putting the rubber to the road on lifestyle change. There are so, so many ways to put the rubber to the road on this journey if change. What do you think "putting the rubber to the road" means in regards to lifestyle change for you? In what ways have you begun to put the rubber to the road? Do you think it is always related to fitness or food choices?

Thank you all for your faithfulness in reading the blog and especially for sharing your lives and experiences in the comments that you leave. I have had more positive responses about the comments that are left than even the blog itself! Have a wonderful weekend and remember one thing. . . y'all are the smartest people I know!!!

Julie's Journal

Last June I talked Yarby Williams, one of our H.O.P.E. participants, into joining me for the Krueger Memorial Splash & Dash. The concept was beyond her scope of comprehension and comfort. She did not believe she could do it because at this time she was unable to walk a mile. With some training, encouragement, fellow H.O.P.E. participants and committed family members, Yarby decided she would sign up for the H.O.P.E. one miler. With me and her family beside her, and a lot of sweat and tears, Yarby completed the H.O.P.E. one miler portion of the Splash & Dash. At this point Yarby had been on her journey of Lifestyle Change for about 6 months.

Fast forward to yesterday. I went to visit Yarby in the hospital. She has lost 200 pounds to date and had some of the excess skin removed from her now much smaller frame. I asked her this year if she would participate in the H.O.P.E. one miler with me and here is her reply: "I am so thankful to be able to be a part of it this year. It will be so much easier now that I am able to do 3 miles."

Yarby's story is no different than all of ours during our journey of Lifestyle Change. One step at a time leads us to where we want to be. Walt Whitman said, "For what is the present, after all, but a growth out of the past." I truly agree with this quote. One baby step after another. My encouragement to those of you who are reading this BLOG is to take a "step" and challenge yourself- Come join us for the H.O.P.E. one miler on Saturday, August 15th at 8:30am. It will be an opportunity to join with others who embrace a healthy lifestyle. You can join us in a few ways: Sign up for the entire 1 mile, a portion of the mile or at the H.O.P.E. tent during the race. Here the website for more information and to sign up. You may also fill out the form and give it me.

http://www.ymcacharlotte.org/harris/programs/fitnesswellness/gkrr.aspx

To prepare for this event, we meet every Tuesday and Friday at the Harris YMCA track near the Teen Center at 9am. Come join us!

Practical Ponderings

How about this for a practical fact. . . . .

Sleeping burns MORE calories than watching TV.

Now that IS a practical fact!! Here is the calculator to help figure the calories burned for different activities. http://www.lowfatweekly.com/calorie_burning_calculator.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I sat pondering the many practical things necessary for lasting lifestyle change, I kept asking myself 'what does 'practical' really mean for this journey and isn't it different for each person?" I looked up the actual definition of 'practical' on thefreedictionary.com, and here is what it said;

~acquired through practice or action, rather than theory, speculation, or ideals

~involving the simple basics

.

Wow! These definitions are extremely full of wisdom. How do these definitions resonate with you, right where you are on this journey of change?

What do you think connects it all together?

.

Have a healthy week. . . . . spirit, mind, body and emotions!

H.O.P.E. Highlight

We had a great conversation yesterday in H.O.P.E. about the roots that we cultivate and nurture as we are on this journey of lifestyle change. A comment that really reminded me of my journey toward change, especially during the first year or so was as follows:

"My roots feel like they are wadded up and restricted with no room to grow, like some of the roots are choking the life out of everything else. I need room to breathe and grow and change."

We talk about how important it is to have roots on this journey. Strong deep roots. But what if those roots we are nurturing are strong, deep unhealthy roots? Then the fruit or leaves(behavior) we produce will be unhealthy also. Some of the unhealthy roots I struggled to pull up out of my life were shame, fear, isolation, rejection and rage just to name a few. They were choking the life out of the very plant they were intended to support and nurture. Just like the comment above, the rotten roots in my life were actually choking the life out of me. I was simply existing, over 400 pounds with very few relationships that were healthy, and was just about completely smothered in shame. My behavior was dictated by fear and rage and shame, so I ate. . . and ate. . . and ate. . . and ate!

I too needed room to breathe. . . and grow. . . and change. Remember, some of these sick roots can be very deep(from childhood) and can be very strong(lies or racket). How would you prune these unhealthy roots out? How would you find healthy seeds that would produce healthy roots? How can you nurture the new healthy seeds as they begin to take root in your life. These healthy roots will allow you to breathe. . . and grow. . .and change!

Hope to see you next week. Have a fun, safe and healthy weekend!

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Hi everyone. Could it get any hotter?? Oh yeah, it's just the start of July so the answer to that question is YES!! I missed group on Tuesday, but it was for a good reason. I was hiking a very big mountain in 20 degree cooler temperature and enjoying the place I feel the best around these parts. There is something about the mountains that brings me back to an even place. It has been a difficult several months, so a mental health day was in order and boy did it help. The hike I did was rated extraneous, 5 miles of serious uphill hiking, and I completed it! With some of the challenges I've had lately, I was not positive I could really do the whole thing because it is a very physical hike. . . and hard! It's amazing what completing a challenge can do for the soul. A great feeling of accomplishment just settled over me, and it reminds me that I can overcome the challenges that the Lord allows in my life. I am refreshed and ready to go.

This month our interview is with Eilene Sheppard. Enjoy and I wish you all a Happy Fourth of July!

Individual Interview

What is your name?
Eilene Sheppard

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My two daughters, Erin and Carol, and my son, Winston are on my support team, as well as many friends, one of whom has been my friend since 6th grade -- 38 years! I am so grateful for the many supportive friends, co-workers, partners in ministry, etc...that God has blessed me with.

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
I have been a regular H.O.P.E. participant at least 3 years, but did come sporadically the 1st year as I struggled to muster the courage to come into the room--sometimes just peering in from the lobby.

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
This is a tough question. How does one choose one most useful tool? The tool I believe I use the most is the tool of accepting and liking myself, just as I am, for the characteristics that God gave to me. Just today, I began to feel inadequate in a situation where I was moving slow. As I talked to myself, I was able to turn that whole thing around and ask why others were moving so fast!

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
My greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program has been a deepened relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Since I am divorced and my children are grown, I am alone much of the time and have to trust in HIM for my comfort. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 54:5 My maker is my husband. The Lord Almighty is his name.
I have also been able to come to the difficult place of realization that I needed to change my employment to one that is more healthy for me. I have done that as well.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Time management by far has been my greatest challenge. Prioritizing and keeping myself and the care of myself in my time schedule has been very difficult. I have to block off time to devote to myself, as if I have an appointment, or it simply will not happen. That includes blocking off time for grocery shopping instead of fast food runs.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
I often tell others that H.O.P.E. is the best kept secret in Charlotte. H.O.P.E. has been a place of belonging for me, when there was no other place that I felt like I could be accepted. There is so much communication that is unspoken among the H.O.P.E. participants. I feel like we have all been in many of the same places emotionally, at some time or another.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
Establish ROOTS! Without the strong roots needed, the storms of life may blow you over or destroy you. Dig DEEP, and do the work necessary to have a strong root base, and the sprouts will be outward signs of healthy lifestyle change that will continue to grow.

Practical Pondering and Julie's Journal

Hi Folks!

This week you get a BOGO (buy one, get one) post. As many of you know, I went on vacation and upon my return I came down with bronchitis and a sinus infection. As a result, there was no blog last week.

When I returned from Virginia I found a tick on Tana, my dog, and pulled it off of her. I knew there had to be more but was unable to find any. Sure enough about a week later I found a brown berry on my kitchen floor. Upon closer inspection it was not a berry but an overengorged tick that was unable to move itself since its legs couldn't reach the floor. That is how I feel in my body right now.

I am in the midst of a personal struggle that has to do with my health and my weight. I have some health issues that are being treated that have caused me to gain 29 pounds in the past 9 weeks. There are several reasons for this weight gain, none of which are related to overeating, unhealthy eating or lack of fitness. I truly have no control over my body. One thing I have learned is that I always have choices in every situation. Now they may not be great choices, but nonetheless I always have choices. I could bury myself in gallons of ice cream and cinnamon chip scones but then I would be completely discouraged and have 60 pounds to lose instead of 30. I could ignore the doctor's advice and try to find my own way through this challenge. Although I am feeling afraid, discouraged, mad, and frustrated, I am choosing to go back to the basics of what I know is healthy for my body. In order for my body to have a fighting chance in this health challenge, I must do everything I know to keep it healthy. That way my body can assist in its own healing process. While there is a temptation to choose the gallons of ice cream, I know from experience what will serve me better.

I hear all of the encouraging words that my support system shares with me but even though I hear it and understand it in my head, it is very hard for me to believe it as the truth in my heart. It is hard for me not to believe the racket that is screaming at me, "You loser. You are going to gain all of your weight back. What are you doing teaching a weight loss class when you can't keep your own weight off."

Life happens. Sometimes we truly have no control over circumstance in our lives but what we do control is how we respond to the situation. Back to the basics for me means doing what worked for me in the beginning of my journey when I was over 400 pounds:

1. Challenge the racket
2. Gather support and encouragement from the safe people in my life
3. Look for encouragement where ever I can find it
4. Drink lots and lots of water
5. Keep a food journal to ensure that I am being honest with myself about food intake
6. Continue fitness as I am able. If I am not able to walk, find an alternative
7. Always share my truth. If I try to hide it, it will cause shame.
8. Listen and believe the truth, which is that I have a health crisis that will get resolved and this is merely a bump in the road.

I will lose the 30 pounds
I will get back on track
I will be healthy again

What do you do when "life happens"? Can you share a life experience that relates to this and what your action was? What helps you stay on track through a challenge you have no control over?

Have a great week, ladies!

H.O.P.E. Highlight

This week I wanted to highlight a quote that came out of group a few weeks ago and what really stirred me. I am very interested in knowing if it stirs you as well, and if so, in what way. The quote is as follows:

"I don't want anyone to come in my house and see the clutter and mess inside, just like my weight keeps people from coming in and seeing inside me."

Wow! That is one power packed statement which reflects quite a bit of truth. It seems for me that when i could not use my voice and boundaries to keep people out of my space in an appropriate, healthy way, my weight certainly accomplished the same thing! A barrier to keep people out! The problem with creating a wall with my weight to keep people out is that I wall myself in with such unhealthy stuff.

I also think that the barrier of weight really doesn't keep people "out" at all. In fact, the more weight I gained, the less healthy boundaries I did have and the less I used my voice. The other thing that really resonates with me about that comment is that my "unhealth" ALWAYS translates into other areas of my life. Remember, we are made up of spirit, mind, body and emotions. I simply cannot be really unhealthy in one circle of my life and healthy in the other three circles of my life. Just not possible. That's why I think it is fairly important to look at all four circles as we approach health and wellness.

I would love to know what you think about this comment and how you see your lifestyle change impacting other areas of your life. Make it a great week!

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Last week our tool was to make a "Bucket List" about lifestyle change. Not just a list, but also why it is on our bucket list. This week we clarified what a bucket list is. One person said it represented goals, and another said dreams and hopes, and still another said it represented her, and who she is. All of the answers are correct. The goal of this exercise was so we can remember what it is we most want out of this journey. The bucket list in the movie represented all the things the man wanted to do, that he had never done, before his soon approaching death. For me, the bucket list represent why I work so hard at the emotional part of this journey, why I don't just stop and sit down, why I challenge the racket like I do, and why I work so diligently to keep shame out of my space. I want to remind myself of all the things that are important enough for me to keep pushing forward. It IS worth it. My bucket list changes from time to time, but what does not change is why I continue to move forward in lifestyle change. Maybe we all need to look at our bucket list monthly or so and revise it when necessary. It is a wonderful reminder of the joy that can come from this journey.

Our second individual interview is with K.T. Champion. It is interesting to see how different our journeys can be, yet still the same in many ways. Enjoy!

Individual Interview

What is your name?
KT Champion

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
Husband Tim and 3 children Julie, Paul and Will
Workout partner, a few friends, Maggie, Meredith and Joan

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
4+ years

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
Eat less……move more. I believe that people have issues with weight and wellness for a variety of reasons. Just as we have different reasons for becoming overweight-different eating plans and exercises work for some and not others. No commercially available food plan has ever worked for me. I do pay attention to carbohydrates and portion sizes but I basically eat less and move more. I do try to say aloud if I am eating for emotional needs and I remind myself constantly that food is fuel for my body and that’s all it is. For me there has been no magic to this journey just a lot of hard work and changes in my self talk. Mindfulness with regard to food as well as exercises that include aerobics and strengthening have been keys to my success. I did start with water aerobics and then moved to “land” exercises. It has taken a lot more exercise (and a lot harder forms of exercise) than I envisioned for myself at the beginning of this journey. I guess I really picked two tools: 1. eat less, move more and 2.mindfulness. If I could pick a third it would be 3. “changing my self talk.”

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
I have lost 70 pounds and 80 inches but an even greater accomplishment is developing my ability to navigate this journey. Food choices, exercise, lifestyle change, health and wellness are subjects that will be with me forever. In the last 4 years I have experienced medication changes, surgeries, work schedule changes, sleep issues , a new diagnosis of complex PTSD and a new diagnosis of diabetes (after losing 50 pounds) that have challenged my journey negotiation skills.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
My greatest challenge has been learning to put myself first and to continue to juggle my ever changing schedule so that I can have the right amount of time for me.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
The H.O.P.E program has changed my life in many areas by teaching me the tools needed to make the changes I have made in my life. I continue to come to H.O.P.E. because this is a journey with no prize, no finish line, and no magic weight at the end. Coming to the meetings is like a “booster shot” for me to help keep me on track and provide much needed support from safe people.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
“It is what it is.” I cannot change my genetic make up or my life experiences but I can choose to handle myself with gentleness and compassion. I can choose positive persistence in my continuing journey of lifestyle change.

Julie's Journal

I had an opportunity last night that has never occurred as long as I have been doing this group. Only one person showed up for group. We had such a deep, honest and rich conversation about. . . shame. Imagine that! That word and what it implies comes up so often in private conversations with participants, in group meetings and even in Church.

If there was a word that was the opposite of "lasting lifestyle change", I believe it would be shame. I know you guys have heard this so often, but I think this is a topic we can not hear enough about. Shame is like a cancer that erodes our progress in lifestyle change. If we are not intentional about challenging the shame messages in our lives, then our behavior will reflect it. Nothing drives me to a good old eating frenzy like a good old shame message.

I think there are three steps to getting shame out of our healthy space. First, we cannot challenge what we do not know exists. We have to first identify that we have shame messages in order to challenge them and believe something else. Many of the messages come from our childhood, from trauma or from people currently in our lives. These shaming voices may be so ingrained that they are difficult to identify without honest reflection, support of safe people or even professional help. Folks, the best news of all, is that these shame messages are learned. You and I were not born full of shame feeling such contempt for ourselves! We learned that somewhere along the way, and boy did my unhealthy eating behaviors reflect it!

After we identify a shame message, then it becomes a choice. Do we choose to believe the shame or not. The second step in ridding shame from our lives is to actually choose not to believe the shame message, to challenge the racket. My unhealthy behaviors usually reflect that I have chosen to believe the racket of shame that is yelling in the background of my mind. Last night, the lone H.O.P.E. participant and I spent a good bit of time talking about the fact that it is a choice whether to believe it or not. I promise you that if we believe the shame, our behavior (unhealthy eating) will reflect our choice.

If we choose not to believe the shame message, then what will we believe? We have to believe something. Either the shame message or the truth message. We cannot just choose to not believe shame without consciously deciding what it is we will believe instead. Choosing to believe the truth is the third step in ridding the shame in our lives. For me, my "truth" message is found in the Word of the Living God. I am told that there is no condemnation(shame) in Christ and that I am free, free, free from shame. Yippee!! Free from shame? Is that even possible? I am here to tell you that it is not only possible, but it is the greatest freedom that in turn allows us to live out our lives in the way we choose to without fear of the shameful judgement of God, ourselves, or others. Now that is freedom!

Shame always attacks the core of who I am, my personhood, my self. Conviction is always about my behavior. If I behave in a way that I feel convicted about, then I can respond responsibly with no shame. What is your 'truth message"? Where do you get your "truth message" to refute the shame in your life. Do you believe it? Does your behavior reflect that you believe it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this cornerstone topic of lasting lifestyle change.

Until next week, healthy living to all!

Practical Ponderings

This is the third week of our blog, which has been named "Practical Ponderings". I would like this week of the month to be where we talk about the practical things we do to make lifestyle change happen. Since we talk so much about the emotional piece of this journey, I wanted there to be a place where we can talk about how the "rubber meets the road" for each of us. Some of us love to walk, and we like Weight Watchers to show us how to eat. Some of us love to swim, and we do not like to subscribe to any point counting for our eating. Some of us hate exercise but count calories for our food intake. This journey is so individual, and looks different for each one of us, depending on our history, our health and our circumstances. I have found that as we share what works for us, it almost always helps someone else on their journey. Please share this week one of your favorite practical tips, whether it falls under the spirit, mind, body, as long as it relates to your journey of lifestyle change.

I'll start with one of my practical tips that always seems to serve me well. Water, water, water! The more water I drink, the better I feel and the more it facilitates health, wellness and weight loss. How about you, what is a tip that serves you well on this journey of lifestyle change?

H.O.P.E. Highlight

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to our second consistent week with the blog! I know some of you were holding your breath, but here it is! The second Thursday of each month we will have what's called the H.O.P.E. Highlight which is simply a comment or idea that someone in group has shared, that I find particularly profound, inspirational or thought-provoking. I have decided to keep names out of the blog for obvious reasons of privacy, but feel free to claim the quote if it is yours and you would like to.

As usual, we have had some awesome discussions about what keeps us stuck in some pretty unhealthy behaviors. One of the things we have talked about recently is that fear is at the core if co-dependency. One participant commented that "fear is sneaky in my life, not as obvious as it used to be". Then another followed up saying "My fear is like a wolf in sheep's clothing". I found that statement to be oh so true for me also.

Can you identify the ways that your fear(which is at the CORE of co-dependency) appears like a wolf in sheep's clothing as you attempt lasting lifestyle change?

Individual Interview . . . and a little reminder

Hi Everybody! Welcome back to the H.O.P.E. Blog where we can come together and meet each other anytime we like. I invite you to sign up so that you can make comments and keep the conversation going. I want this to be a place where we can all share our experience with lifestyle change openly and honestly. There are many ups and downs and all arounds on this journey, and what keeps us moving forward is support from other on the same journey and practicing the emotional strategies(tools) that we learn each week in group. Here's what you can expect each week.

First Thursday of Month - Individual Interview
Second Thursday of Month - H.O.P.E. Highlight
Third Thursday of Month - Practical Ponderings
Fourth Thursday of Month - Julie's Journal
Fifth Thursday of Month(if there is one) - Surprise??

Before we get started with our first individual interview, I was asked to post a reminder on the Blog today that is extremely important for all of us to remember. There are 7 measures of success on the journey of lasting lifestyle change. The scale counts as 1/7 of the equation. That leaves a whole lot more measures of success. In fact, I think there are many more than 7. Put on your thinking caps and let's see if we can come up with more than 10 and share them here. (Just a side note, but I remember when KT and I were working so hard in the gym preparing for some event, maybe the half marathon, and she was not loosing weight. She was making extremely healthy food choices and working out like a hound dog, but no weight loss. Well guess how many inches she was loosing?? Several a week and then after a month or two she began to loose body weight again. She lost over 60 inches total, including 10 around her waist alone!) Just an example of a measure of success.

On to our first interview with Yarby Williams and I'll be checking in to see the ongoing conversation and to leave my own comments as well. Enjoy ladies, this is your space.

Individual Interview

What is your name?
Yarby Williams

Who is your family and additional support system outside of H.O.P.E.?
My husband John and three grown daughters, four grandchildren age 4 and under, and 5th grandchild due the end of June, a professional counselor, and numerous praying friends

How long have you been a H.O.P.E Participant?
18 months

What is the most useful tool you have received in H.O.P.E. and why?
“Act as if” After learning much about the emotional aspect of overeating in the first three months I attended H.O.P.E., I began to put into practice the actual lifestyle journey change, although I didn’t really “feel like” doing it. I knew it was time, and decided to use this favorite tool and just act like I really wanted to do it and eventually I actually grew into really wanting to do it, to the glory of God and for myself, not for my mother or anyone else.

What has been your greatest accomplishment through the H.O.P.E. program?
I began Weight Watchers 14 1/2 months ago, and exercise a couple of months later, first walking and then swimming. I have now lost 177 pounds and am no longer just existing, but living life! I’m off most of my medications and feel so much better. I’m excited about losing 23 more pounds and staying close to goal for life.

What has been your greatest challenge on your journey of lifestyle change?
Finding middle ground instead of “all or nothing”. I once feared ever going off my “diet plan” but now I realize that this is a lifestyle change journey and not a diet and I can’t live in the “all or nothing” for life. If I don’t do just right one day, I can now move forward the next day, the next meal, without feeling like all is lost.

What does the H.O.P.E. program mean to you personally?
It has given me my life back, literally. I do believe I wouldn’t be alive today if I had not found hope through H.O.P.E.

Can you share some words of wisdom with others who are just beginning their journey of lifestyle change?
Ask for and give encouragement and prayer support. Work the program and let the program work for you. Learn and use the tools, even if it begins with “acting as if”. Take advantage of the support of others in the group and share openly with them and enjoy this journey of lifestyle change one day (and one meal) at a time.

A little of both maybe?

After our lively discussion last night on discipline, we ended on a note of faith. It seems to me that discipline and faith kind of go hand in hand. A little discipline produces a little faith? When we walk in discipline, we are trusting that our goals will be reached, even though we cannot see them right away. Not sure I really understand how the two are connected, or if in fact one produces the other, but I do know this. . . they are connected and they are both extremely important qualities to embrace on lifestyle change. Probably my favorite quote that is not scriptural follows and I think that it speaks to this journey in every way.

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know
And are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid on which to stand
Or you will be taught to fly."

So fly on my fellow sojourners in lifestyle change, fly on. And remember, if you are not quite in the place of "knowing" one of two things will happen, then just trust. Trusting, in a nutshell, is the faith! Have a great week!

Hard Times

OK, so the nugget this week was titled "Getting through hard times". Many times in group I have mentioned that God gives us what we need when we need it. Well this week was no different. That nugget came just in time for me. I left group this week and found myself driving around looking for gas since I was on an eighth of a tank. I looked at 9 gas stations on the way to a Dr.'s appointment and each one had those bags over the handles indicating "NO GAS". As each of the stations left me high and dry, the fear began to mount. Well, Tuesday passed and by Wednesday, I was wondering what in the world I was going to do. I was in a serious spiral of fear, doubt and frustration. By Thursday, I had already decided that I was going to be found dead in my Condo, because I was going to be trapped and stranded due to the fact that there was no gas left in the entire world. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not too much of one. I really was thinking in a panicky way, and full of fear. Now let me get back to the nugget this week. And I "We can use the feelings during a hard time to fine-tune our skills and our relationship with God OR we can go through these situations suffering, and storing up bitterness. THE CHOICE IS OURS" Now come on. . . .how many times in a week do I say choice, choice, choice! Ouch! It hit me like a ton of bricks on Thursday morning that I was actually making a choice to ride the downward spiral I was in. Can I say Ouch one more time. So I did make a choice. A choice to stop. I focused on THE truth, not what the media was telling me, not what my irrational fears were telling me and not what the mayor was telling me. THE truth says that I serve the Living God Who provides for ALL my needs. Period. Not if there is gas, not if I have cash and not if God is in the mood to help. It is a non-negotiable promise straight from God's heart to my ear. There are no conditions on that promise. So I can be absolutely sure that my God WILL supply ALL my needs. . . Oh how powerful that promise is. The fear level dropped off the radar. I began to feel strong and assured that no matter what the state of my city, my nation and my world is, that my Father will meet my needs, whatever they are. What a relief. What a relief! If you find yourself spiraling out of control in a hard situation, and your emotions are all over the map, my encouragement to you is to just stop. Stop and reflect on what your truth is, not someone else's. Stop and reflect on the tools that you have gathered along the journey of lifestyle change. Stop and make the choice to learn from the situation and grow.